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Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part XI

In my healing journey with Lyme Disease, I cannot say that it was a step-by-step, linear progression of doing “this,” doing “that,” following this protocol, following that protocol, etc. In my estimation, the healing timeline went something like this: feeling bad, feeling really bad, feeling a little better, back to feeling bad, feeling really bad…healed!

From a purely objective point of view, it would appear that my Uchu Sanango Isolation Dieta in the Rainforest resulted in my physical healing. This would seem to be the case, but, as you may have surmised from what I’ve already written, there was/is a subtle aspect of my healing journey that confounded my logical mind. Some important inner shifts had to happen and, paradoxically, I now consider my physical healing from Lyme Disease as a secondary gift!

As much as I am grateful and feel that I “dodged a bullet,” I believe a deeper healing gift imparted was in experiencing my body, mind and sense of self as a very small “slice” of an infinite spectrum of vibratory dimensions, some of which I have no logical or verbal reference points to describe.

This “deeper healing gift” allowed me access to extremely subtle currents of vibrations and sensations in the body that I had previously not given much attention to. I think of these “subtle currents,” deliciously felt in the the spine, as “Grace.”

Different names and labels could be applied: Divine Spirit, Kundalini, Prana, Chi, etc…but to me, the word “Grace” has deepest meaning. It is a felt experience, like silken threads of finest, most subtle and yet delicious reverberations in the spine!

To me Grace is also an immense paradox, as the subtlety of its vibration belies its haunting Presence, an ethereal “lifeline” that guides us through the darkest of nights!

I don’t believe my healing from Lyme Disease could have been affected had I remained rigidly attached and isolated to the relatively narrow spectrum of the physics and logic of the world. For one thing, I believe that a dismissive, rigid and quick-to-judge attitude towards my “hallucinations” (as well as towards Lyme Disease in general) would have precluded explorations outside the standards and norms of medical science.

Lyme Disease was a wild and chaotic shaking and breaking down of my body, mind and psyche. Dealing with the Lyme Entity seemed to require an approach that included not only my logical mind, but also (and more importantly) an openness and ability to patiently and compassionately “hold space” for experiences outside the norm of the “normal” waking state.

Over the last few years I’ve been contacted by a number of chronic Lyme Disease sufferers. In sharing with them the different healing modalities that I explored, I have also endeavored to convey my belief in that aspect of Lyme Disease that seems to be way outside the familiar and normal, i.e., the “paranormal” (as manifested in my experience with the Lyme Entity).

Of course, this could easily be dismissed as hallucinations of a feverish mind…and this pronouncement/judgment would allow the mind to maintain order, structure and predominance in a world that has a strong disposition to ignore or invalidate out-of-the ordinary or paranormal phenomena.

However, I find it interesting that my story of the Lyme Entity has resonated with the majority of those with whom I’ve shared, in the sense that they have been in agreement with how tricky, bizarre and out-of-the-ordinary their own symptoms have been!

There is even a term that some medical doctors have used in regards to some of their Lyme Disease patients and their “off-the-charts” symptoms reported: Lyme Loonies!

My wild, crazy dance with Lyme Disease allowed me an insight into a subtle working of my mind/consciousness that I may not have been able to experience otherwise. I realized that the linear/logical mind, attached to the physics of the world, operates in a relatively narrow spectrum of consciousness. It works amazingly well in our structured, quantifiable world…but, in my opinion, it can get in the way when it runs up against a problem or disease that cannot be resolved or healed by “accepted” and standard approaches.

The mind can “get in the way” in its quick (and sometimes abrasive) dismissiveness of things that are outside the norms of “accepted” practice and science.

The thought of a Lyme Disease “entity” is far outside what is accepted by the standards of today’s medical “science.” However, in my experience of the Lyme Entity, hallucination or not, I saw how the mind, like a radio, could “tune” into dimensions very different from the physics of our “known” world. I also came to understand how the mind, when it it is quick to dismiss and rigidly judge what is outside the familiar, creates a kind of energetic “shutting down” effect of body and mind, something not conducive to healing.

For me, the experience of Lyme Disease was not only physically painful/weakening, but was also pulverizing to the ego in the sense that my best efforts and due diligence amounted to very little on the balance scales of healing.

Now, I do not wish to diminish or downplay the importance of doing our best, doing our “due diligence” —as it is of major importance—but the point I’m endeavoring to make is that, as human beings, the narrow and rigid focus we place on the linear, logical, waking state of consciousness deprives and blocks us from the potential help that is available from the realms that are outside the vibratory spectrum of what is physically measurable and quantifiable.

To me, Grace is that “potential help,” an infinitely subtle sensation that is sourced in the central core of the spine and that imparts the knowingness of how much support we receive and are surrounded with…especially when we are being pounded by life circumstances.

The experience of Grace is a subtle point that I have endeavored to convey in these posts on my healing journey and to me it will always remain the deeper healing gift received!

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Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part II

As mentioned in Part I, I healed from Lyme Disease. The following is a continuation of my Healing Journey.

I did a lot of “due diligence” in trying my best to clean up my diet, to detox myself, exploring alternative modalities (Rife, Edgar Cayce protocols), etc., etc. I also worked with sacred plant medicines (mainly Grandmother)…and all these things helped somewhat in alleviating the most painful symptoms…but for me they were not enough to rid me of what I think of as a kind of Lyme “imprint.”

This is just my way of describing what I could not “shake” from my body/mind/psyche. Although I was able to get to a point of sublimating many of my major symptoms, there was still the deep energetic malaise, severe memory loss, the inability to do any physical exercise or work. This I wasn’t able to release.

I came to understand that doing my best, doing my due diligence was necessary (and helpful), but it amounted to very little on the balance scale of my dance/battle with Lyme. I felt I was on a slow/fast downward spiral!

If I can place numbers as a way to give perspective to what I’m trying to describe regarding my healing journey, it was as if my best efforts amounted to around 10% on the “scale” of healing…the rest, 90%, was Grace of…Spirit? God? Divine?

Lyme forced me to my knees, so-to-speak. I realized I was no match for its power. It was kicking my a$$! Big time! This shattering realization, during a most physically painful moment, dissolved me into a mass of one giant cry/scream for help that seemed to come from every cell of my body!

And help came…along with the understanding of the meaning of… Grace! …And this came with a gut reaction to the immensity of realizing that, “I don’t know sh#t! I felt that I was throwing drops of water on a conflagration that was raging in my body!”

I also came to understand the “entity” aspect of Lyme…that in order to be totally free of it’s grip upon my life, I would need serious help in releasing it from my body/mind/ psyche. This was my experience of how Lyme showed up for me.

The context: In my search for healing, I went to the rainforest in Peru to work with a certain plant medicine (Uchu Sanango) under the guidance of a shaman. I was in isolation for 10 days (administered to only by the shaman). There was three days of intense suffering from the effects of the medicine, but the last two hours of the second day was over-the-top intense! I felt like I was burning up from the inside!

I was screaming and “out-of-my-mind” from the pain…and this is where I came to experience the release of the Lyme “entity.” It felt like being on fire from the inside. I remember snarling and making some bizarre vocalizations…and then the “entity” was pulled out of me, through the top of my head, like it was unwound from my neck and head.

Note: Uchu Sanango is considered one of the “Master Plants” in the Peruvian Rainforest by the shamans. Although it does not have the visionary/hallucinogenic compounds like Grandmother (Ayahuasca) medicine, the intensity (pain) of the experience put me in visionary state whereby I was able to “see” the entity. I believe the entity did not like the intense inner heat. In a sense, my body became too inhospitable for it to remain.

Please understand that my particular experience with Uchu Sanango was not typical. My wife, for instance, during her isolation dieta with Uchu had a very different experience, difficult but not nearly as intense or painful. I would not want to scare anyone from working with this wonderfully healing medicine!

From my perspective now, as I look back at my healing journey, as painful as it was (and pardon me if this sounds cliche), I now see it as having been a great blessing, a baptism by fire so to speak! It was like an initiation that had no guarantee of healing or even physical survival…as I’ve met with others that have not fared as well.

I mention this because to me it seemed that Lyme came as an extreme teaching device…a kind of swim or slowly drown proposition! As helpless as I sometimes felt, there was always an inner prompt that kept me moving and acting towards healing. Sometimes that prompt came as a simple, “get out of bed,” “take one step,” “breathe.” I learned to listen and feel in a way that I’m not sure I could have learned in any other way.

This experience in the Rainforest happened in 2015 and I have not had any recurrence of Lyme symptoms since then.

 

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