Tag Archives: pattern disrupt

The Paradox of Subtlety—When Kundalini Comes Like a “Thief in the Night” Part II

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There is an aspect of the awakening Kundalini (the subtle current of life force in the spine) that is anciently familiar. It imparts a sense of wonderment that a sensation so close and intimate could have remained seemingly elusive for so long!

Here is my thinking about this: for years I sat in meditation practice with intention to connect with Kundalini, with the fine currents in the spine. The connection did not come with a “Big Bang.” Rather, it came more like a “Thief in the night.”

It is now somewhat baffling to me that it took so long to make this connection, considering how very close and accessible the subtle vibrations have always been! I believe that, perhaps, I did not give due importance to simply feeling into the overall sensation of the body…in the moment…and then going slightly deeper…and then deeper again.

At a certain point while simply noticing fine sensations, my attention was drawn to extremely fine forces at play in what seemed to be in the spine…a push/pull/play of subtlety!

Again, to me, it seems to be a grand paradox that a vibration so intimate and accessible could remain elusive for such a long time! Another way that I think about this mystery is that, metaphorically, I was walking in “lock-step” with a certain drum-beat that aligned with the vibratory realms of the world and all its drama and distractions.

All the while, beneath the din and turbulence of the worldly drumbeat, there was/is another drumbeat that is in resonance with the heart…so very close! It is not that this subtle vibration was less accessible or more difficult to connect with. Rather, for me, I believe it was just that it did not occur to me to simply feel deeply into subtle sensations!

Is that all? In looking back, it seems that, even with all the meditation practice and spiritual “seeking,” the momentum of my routine, day-to-day state of mind, created a resonance of being that did not take the time or bother to recognize the underlying vibration/resonance just below the busy-ness of my spiritual seeking!

This deep and wide “underlying vibration” was always there, readily accessible, because I now recognize its “on-the -surface,” entryway “signature” in the familiar sensations that I had not given much attention to: the gut feelings, of giddiness, of nostalgia, etc.

Another important point to consider: in order to “shake” me out of the patterns of my day-to-day way of thinking and being, in my estimation I believe I needed something that was strong enough to shift the resonance and pattern of my limited perspective of feeling and being. I needed a “pattern disrupt.”

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Connecting With the Bliss Resonance, Part X

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As mentioned in the previous post, it was “for want of feeling slightly below my familiar set of sensations…” that I spent years in meditation practice without connecting deeply with subtle sensations and vibrations…the oh-so-important “stepping stones” to deeper and deeper meditations.

These “stepping stones” of subtle sensations are like connecting pieces that opens you up to the visceral experience of the “Om Vibration,” the resonance of exquisitely fine vibrations.

I found that the “subtle sensations” in the body (and spine) are readily accessible and easily felt by our sensitive nervous systems. From my perspective I can describe the process as this: feeling into the overall sensation of the body…and then feeling slightly deeper…and then slightly deeper, etc.

This approach sounds easy enough to do…and I believe that it truly is. However, if there is any difficulty in accessing the subtle realms/vibrations in the body, it is in the mind’s resistance to feeling deeply.

Of course we all have the capacity to feel deeply, as evidenced whenever we have emotional outbursts of joy, sadness, anger, etc. My suggestion here is to use this capacity (to feel deeply) with intention… to follow sensations to finer and finer points of subtlety. Following just the sensation!

Now, what I mean by the mind’s “resistance” to feeling deeply is the habitual pattern of the mind to follow the trail of thoughts and memories that are connected with the sensations…instead of just focusing on the sensation/vibration.

l found that as I began focusing on just the overall sensation of the body, the mind would begin to relax and the thoughts would slow down, with occasional moments (flashes) when thoughts would stop altogether.

These momentary flashes of “no-thought,” as fleeting as they were, imparted intimations of the vastly wide and deep “Bliss Resonance.” I think of these “intimations” as a kind of “pattern disrupt” that shifts the body and mind to a very different relationship with the Life Force (the energies moving through the body)…and how we interact with sensations/vibrations.

Normally we do not pay much attention to our familiar, “day-to-day” set of sensations. We do not give much thought to the overall vibration of Being. There does not seem to be any reason or purpose for doing so.

Of course, whenever we are in physical or emotional pain, our attention is drawn towards the feelings of pain, usually with reactivity…wanting to be free of the pain.

Now, it is easier to feel into subtle sensations when the body and mind are fairly calm and free of pain. However, the very practice of feeling into subtle sensations has a practical benefit of easing physical and emotional pain, even if just a little.

This can be a challenge because when we are in pain, the last thing we want to do is to tune into and feel deeper into the pain! For this reason it is important to experience the process of tuning into subtle sensations when the body and mind are fairly stable and free of pain.

I remember suffering severely from the intense pain of sciatica and nothing seemed to help, even my practice of tuning into the subtle sensations. The pain was like a “bull-in-the-china shop” of any connection that I may have had with fine vibrations.

However, I found it interesting that I could feel two simultaneous “rivers” of sensations: one that was intensely painful and the other one that had a kind of “underground” reverberation that was comforting. It did not free me of pain, but it shifted my reactivity to it.

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Kundalini “Pattern Disrupt”

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The mind seems to always seek engagement…seeking to be occupied with desires, distractions, temptations, memories, etc. Over time it creates habits of likes and dislikes that then create the patterns of our lives that become the default day-to-day existence.

In losing ourselves to set patterns of mind that we’ve created over a lifetime, it is easy to get swept along in life guided only by habits of what is familiar. Meanwhile, there is an undercurrent of primal forces hidden deep within that remain, for the most part, dormant.

For those who consciously seek to connect with this subterranean “Hum of Creation,” they may find that their bodies can serve as an exquisitely fine “antennae” for tuning into the infinitely subtle vibrations that move through the energetic “field” of their experience.

The body that is tuned to this sublime resonance is “held” as though electrified (or contorted) by the current that flows through the energetic field.

This contortion of the body/mind/psyche serves as a “pattern disrupt” for the mind normally caught in habitual patterns of thinking. The individual is offered a vastly wider perspective and experience of subtle vibrations.

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Filed under bliss, consciousness, Kundalini, mind, mindfulness, Receiving Spirit