Tag Archives: mindfulness

Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part X

The main point I wish to convey here is that the problem solving, linear/logical mind, as powerful and important as it is in taking care of our bodies/minds/psyches in our daily lives can, ironically, get in the way of the healing that we seek. It creates huge barriers of judgments, prejudices and dismissiveness when it comes to things outside the narrow spectrum of “acceptable” or quantifiable “reality.”

The logical mind seems to have no trouble on the “playing field” of well defined rules and codes of behavior. For example, in games of sport, there are agreed rules and codes of behavior, with well defined boundaries of “play.” This is something that is engaging and naturally attractive to the mind, because, win or lose, it all makes sense to the mind.

In the realms of medicine, there are massive systems and structures in place that have scientifically tried and proven treatment protocols that have had amazing success. However, with certain illnesses/diseases, such as with Lyme Disease, cancers, autoimmune diseases, etc., science has yet to discover definitive cures.

In my experience with Lyme Disease, in a strange (and even weird) way, it showed me a different way of “looking” at my disease. Initially, my mind desperately wanted to follow a step-by-step medical protocol, to take a regimen of pills and be healed. it wanted a return to “normalcy.” However, I saw and experienced it as a vampiric entity that embedded itself in my body/mind/psyche.

This showed me aspects of the mind that, on one level, has a natural affinity and attachment to familiar patterns in the environment. It is very quick to recognize and judge what it likes and does not like…and what it does not like, or what challenges its predominance, is quick to judge, size up, label and dismiss.

On another and perhaps deeper level, Lyme Disease and especially my “conversation” with the Lyme Entity showed me an aspect of mind far outside the spectrum of normal/familiar for me…and yet any reactivity and quickness to judge and to dismiss the experience did not come up, which proved to be an important part in my ultimate healing.

I came to understand that having strong and quick judgments about things that made me uncomfortable or ill, fostered a dismissive and abrasive mindset that had a way of shutting down my energetic field…which contributed to agitation and restlessness…things not conducive to healing.

In my own healing from Lyme Disease, I cannot say with certainty that the healing protocols that I followed led to my ultimate healing. There seemed to be some unquantifiable intervening steps that took place that created the “perfect storm” of a “healing crisis.”

What I mean by this is that in all the major and minor protocols that I explored and followed, the final one led me to the jungles of Peru to partake in a very strict Uchu Sanango Dieta, during which I was in isolation for eight days, administered to by only the Shaman.

Now, Uchu Sanango is considered one of many “ordeal” medicines by the Shamans of Peru and for me it proved to be the most painful experiences of my life. In my work with other plant medicines, I was quite familiar with strong purgative medicines…but Uchu Sanango was way beyond anything I had experienced before!

Please pardon the following graphic/gross descriptions of my experience. Do not read the following if you are queasy… but I feel it is important to include in my narrative.

On the second day, a number of hours after drinking my cup of medicine at 3am, I had the purge of a lifetime! It was so violent and unrelenting that at one point I was gasping for air, during which at one point the timing of vomiting and breathing in coincided. I breathed into my lungs a large quantity of vomit (medicine and bile) that had been in my stomach for hours!

The pain was so intense that I went into visionary state wherein I felt the Lyme Entity leave my body from the top of my head, like it was being unwound from my shoulders, neck and head. This occurred with facial contortions and vocal hissing. Although I was out of my mind from the pain, there seemed to be a part of me that was able to observe and remember every part of the experience.

My thinking about the experience is this: the searing heat going through my lungs and body made it too inhospitable for the Lyme Entity to remain.

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Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part VI

Perhaps the idea of an intelligent Lyme Disease “Entity” is a bit much to accept…and that’s fine. This is just how Lyme Disease showed up for me and how, ultimately, required a kind of medicine “Spirit” strong enough to “extract” it.

However, no matter how an individual struggling with Chronic Lyme Disease comes to a place of healing, the main point I am endeavoring to impart is that dealing with the complications of Lyme Disease seems to demand a radical shift in how we listen and feel on the inside…learning to tune into vibrations and sensations beyond the “radar” of what we’ve come to view as “normal” and “familiar.”

For me, there was so much about Lyme Disease that was outside the realms of what was “normal” and familiar. Certain aspects of feeling “flu-like” symptoms, arthritic pains, exhaustion, etc., were familiar, but the hearing of voices in my head, strange sensations, hallucinations, seeing into demonic dimensions, etc., were not in the norm of my life experience!

As much as I wanted to believe that Lyme Disease was a bacterial infection that just required a regimen of taking antibiotics (doxycyclene), I realized early on that I was dealing with a “pathogen” that required on my part a radical shift in how I approached disease and healing.

In a way, the “hard shell” of my mind (and all its beliefs and assumptions regarding the world, got “cracked” open to realms and experiences very different from what I had come to consider normal and familiar.

The “cracking” of this hard shell of mind allowed connection with extremely subtle vibrations/sensations, which in turn allowed deeper understanding of “Grace.” And to me, Grace is like a microscopic “thread” or lifeline that is a felt experience, an infinitely thin silken thread that seems to vibrate most subtly (and deliciously) at the innermost center of the spine. It imparts the experience of “Glory.”

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Listening to the Intuitive Voice, Part V

When feeling into the overall sensation of the body, tune into the underlying subtlety of vibration. Notice the shift in consciousness (however slight) as the mind continues to follow/connect deeper and deeper with the subtle waves and pulsations of the underlying “Hum” of the body.

Meditation techniques certainly help in creating the “setting” in which the fine underlying sensations/vibrations can be tuned into, but going deeper and deeper into the subtle realms is not something—I believe—meditation technique of itself is capable of doing.

Here is what I believe happens: once a deep connection with the subtle/ethereal vibrations are viscerally connected with, then meditation technique can be very helpful to go even deeper.

The great irony here is that most meditators begin with the assumption that meditation technique will—in a “step-by-step” fashion—connect them with the Divine Realms. In all my years of meditation practice in the ashram, I had many wonderful spiritual experiences, but the connection with the exquisitely fine Bliss Resonance remained elusive. Neither did I see evidence of that connection with the majority of the Monks that I lived with.

Meditation technique, when focused upon and held tightly to in “step-by-step” process, can create a barrier—however slight—that separates the meditator from the very fine nuances of how the Life Force (Spirit) in the body wishes to move/dance.

The practice of meditation technique does not necessarily lead to a wider energetic space within. The inner “resistance” created by strong attachments to beliefs and assumptions regarding meditation and spirituality builds a kind of force field or “wall” of noise that prevents us from hearing/feeling the subtle reverberations that move just below the surface of our familiar state of being.

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Listening to the Intuitive Voice, Part II

Now, when feeling into any emotion, whether it be a slight irritation, anger…or full blown sadness/depression, the approach of not ignoring the energetic, sensation aspect of feelings is being suggested here: tuning into the visceral, overall vibration of the body when feeling low, in a funk…and then….

Here’s what seems to usually happen: We get emotionally triggered by some circumstance or incident and then the feeling and thought patterns go ‘round and ‘round the gravitational pull of our hurt feelings. We get stuck in thought and feeling loops.

However, something very special happens when we feel into the overall sensation of the body, tuning into the subtle underlying vibration of all feelings, the resonance or hum of Being.

When the mind/awareness connects with the subtle underlying hum, the habitual “circling the drain” feeling/thinking is short-circuited…and then here’s what happens: by the simple focusing upon the subtle overall sensation of the body, the mind is offered a window of opening to “shift tracks,” to one that leads into a deeper trance/swoon.

Now, in allowing the mind to “shift tracks,” the mind is guided to follow the prompts of the body to move, shake, vibrate in ways that dissolves and expels the energy of moods. There are many traditions, techniques and approaches that speak towards this…and the effectiveness in these approaches occur when there is an inner “getting,” when there is the visceral experience of being “danced” by the energetic prompts of the life force moving through the body.

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Filed under bliss, Dropping to Your Center, Higher Self, Kundalini, Love, mind, mindfulness, Observer, Places beyond the mind, Receiving Spirit, trance

Listening to the Intuitive Voice, Part I

With just a little bit of self reflection, tuning into how we are feeling in the moment, we can easily know when things are not quite “right,” when we’re feeling a bit “off.” If we ignore the subtle inner whispers, over a certain period of time the residue of what we ignore can build up to toxic proportions, physically/emotionally/spiritually…and then we wonder how and why our lives get turned upside down when we are hit by challenges of health, relationships, finances, etc.

When we are feeling “off our game,” a bit down and perhaps outright sad/depressed, we oftentimes may not consider the energetic “webs” of what keeps us “stewing in our juices.” These webs are the thought and feeling patterns that we have mindlessly allowed to play out over and over in our lives.

These webs are vibratory in nature and can be dissolved and expelled from our lives…when we learn to tune into and feel their sticky/yucky nature. Now, we know when something is off in our lives. Tuning into and releasing the residue of toxic energy just takes a bit of time, using whatever practice makes most sense to you: chi kung, taichi, meditation, smudging, dance, etc.

The important point in any practice is to get to the point of feeling the shift of energies/frequencies/consciousness when the webs/toxic energies are released. It is a wonderful experience to actually feel the transformation that takes place when this happens. It is like an opening up of an energetic spigot in the body, allowing breath and energy to flow more freely!

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Kundalini Divine Nectar, Part III

Any position/posture of the body can be explored to infinite nuance of sensations…and by relaxing and surrendering to the fine vibrations/currents moving through the body, the Divine Dance of micro movements is activated. There is then a noticing of the body moving/dancing, adjusting automatically to the rise and fall of energy.

As the mind/attention focuses upon the current, there is also a noticing of how the mind is drawn inwardly, as though “captured” by the current. It is important to notice and acknowledge the dynamics of what happens when the mind focuses upon subtle sensations, upon the inner current of Life Force.

Another way of thinking about how the mind can be “captured,” is to understand and experience the mind going into trance when using repetition and rhythm…such as when chanting or singing; or when losing oneself in dance.

Ordinarily we don’t pay much attention to what happens when the mind gets drawn into repetitive drumming, or when we surrender ourselves in dance; or when going on long runs. However, if there is an intention to witness the body/mind/psyche going into trance, then the experience of noticing subtle shifts of awareness becomes an open pathway where each subtlety of sensation is like a “breadcrumb” leading to the next subtlety of sensation.

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Filed under Accessing Your Higher Self, bliss, Higher Self, Kundalini, mind, mindfulness, Observer, Places beyond the mind, trance

When Kundalini Awakens, Part VII

The sensations of the inner current, as felt in the spine, holds the mind in delicate trance…focused on the gentle feeling of “upliftment.” This type of meditation is not a passive kind in which the body remains in one position, unmoving. Rather, the buildup of energy in certain areas of the body (particularly in the spine) causes the body to take up certain postures that allows for a greater flow and overflow of the life force.

These movements (oftentimes in fine increments) of the body happen naturally and automatically. The mind’s connection/attunement with these subtle sensations creates a “contortion” of the life force, a buildup of energy that spirals and pulsates up the spine.

It seems that by merely focusing upon the overall sensation of the body, the energy begins to build up to a point that naturally requires the body to adjust, to move in ways that allows greater accommodation of the rising tide of energy. This may look like a contortion of the body, shaking, spiraling movements of the spine, etc.

The body and breath seem to adjust on their own (automatically) allowing the energy to expand and flow without constriction. This can be thought of as “surrendering to the dance.”

This feeling of “upliftment” is a visceral, physical sensation of the life force in the spine…a lifting upwards of the head and spine and even the eyes.

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