The sensation of the current of Life Force moving in the body (especially in the central core of the spine) naturally and automatically focuses the mind, drawing it within to exquisitely subtle sensations…just like iron filings to a magnet.
Attuning to the vibration/sensation requires a delicate balance between tension and relaxation…as the movement of the Life Force in the central core of the body creates a sensation that activates the body to “contort,” to fall into “swoon.”
Finding the balance point between tension and relaxation is important because, in the beginning, the tension of the body contortion can quickly exhaust the body. As you gain familiarity with the contortion energy, you learn to modulate the buildup of energy without overextending the energy of the body.
As I’ve mentioned many times in previous posts, connecting with the subtle sensations of the Life Force (the awakening Kundalini) is not a difficult process. I realize, though, the immense paradox of how a vibration so close (and obvious), can remain seemingly hidden, unobtainable for a lifetime(s)!
The subtle sensation is available, accessible through every movement, every posture…in yawning, in stretching the body, in every smile, in tears, through sex… through every body function!
The connecting piece, which I believe is also the “missing ingredient” that opens the feeling connection with the subtle sensations (at play in the central core of the spine), is surrender…to the dance.
Not a passive surrendering to any and all vibrations, but a listening, feeling and falling (surrendering) towards expansion, towards what imparts an uplift of the heart. In surrendering to the Cosmic Dance, there is a deep release of self to follow the lead of Higher Self!
The paradox of subtlety (of sensations) in the body, to me, is a grand mystery! It is a mystery how certain sensations in the spine/body, so subtle and seemingly insignificant, can be so powerfully activating when we allow ourselves to feel their fine reverberations!
I realize now that what was always accessible feeling-wise (subtle vibrations), I did not give much or any attention to. Even with all the years of meditation practice, with intention to go below the surface of the superficial, I did not truly “get” the significance of feeling into finer and finer sensations.
Here is what I believe happened that prevented me from connecting with the subtle vibrations. In my strong desire to meditate and to live the monastic life, my focus on meditation “practice” and living the monastic lifestyle created a protective shielding that insulated me from primal energies, of sex and wild, chaotic stirrings of the unconscious mind.
The paradox is that, for me, although the monastic lifestyle was able to provide structure and community to seek the Divine, at a certain point the “structure” was unable to accommodate the wild unraveling and unwinding of the awakening Life Force….Kundalini!
Think of it in this way: as you surely know, life and circumstances can at times get messy…really messy! With the awakening Kundalini, there seems to be an added component of “strangeness,” especially during times when body/mind/psyche are getting severely shaken.
During such times, the body can go through spontaneous contortions and gyrations as the energy builds up to a crescendo in the spine. It seems to me that the body lagged way behind in its capacity to process and manage the resonance of the high vibrations of Kundalini.
Leaving the ashram provided the initial “pattern disrupt,” shaking loose the structures and mind habits of how I approached meditation and spirituality in general.
I find it fascinating how the mind (my egoic mind) wants to make sense of its place in the world as well as to define and ascribe “meaning” to all things, including the wild ride of the awakening Kundalini.
There is an aspect of the awakening Kundalini (the subtle current of life force in the spine) that is anciently familiar. It imparts a sense of wonderment that a sensation so close and intimate could have remained seemingly elusive for so long!
Here is my thinking about this: for years I sat in meditation practice with intention to connect with Kundalini, with the fine currents in the spine. The connection did not come with a “Big Bang.” Rather, it came more like a “Thief in the night.”
It is now somewhat baffling to me that it took so long to make this connection, considering how very close and accessible the subtle vibrations have always been! I believe that, perhaps, I did not give due importance to simply feeling into the overall sensation of the body…in the moment…and then going slightly deeper…and then deeper again.
At a certain point while simply noticing fine sensations, my attention was drawn to extremely fine forces at play in what seemed to be in the spine…a push/pull/play of subtlety!
Again, to me, it seems to be a grand paradox that a vibration so intimate and accessible could remain elusive for such a long time! Another way that I think about this mystery is that, metaphorically, I was walking in “lock-step” with a certain drum-beat that aligned with the vibratory realms of the world and all its drama and distractions.
All the while, beneath the din and turbulence of the worldly drumbeat, there was/is another drumbeat that is in resonance with the heart…so very close! It is not that this subtle vibration was less accessible or more difficult to connect with. Rather, for me, I believe it was just that it did not occur to me to simply feel deeply into subtle sensations!
Is that all? In looking back, it seems that, even with all the meditation practice and spiritual “seeking,” the momentum of my routine, day-to-day state of mind, created a resonance of being that did not take the time or bother to recognize the underlying vibration/resonance just below the busy-ness of my spiritual seeking!
This deep and wide “underlying vibration” was always there, readily accessible, because I now recognize its “on-the -surface,” entryway “signature” in the familiar sensations that I had not given much attention to: the gut feelings, of giddiness, of nostalgia, etc.
Another important point to consider: in order to “shake” me out of the patterns of my day-to-day way of thinking and being, in my estimation I believe I needed something that was strong enough to shift the resonance and pattern of my limited perspective of feeling and being. I needed a “pattern disrupt.”
As mentioned in the previous post, it was “for want of feeling slightly below my familiar set of sensations…” that I spent years in meditation practice without connecting deeply with subtle sensations and vibrations…the oh-so-important “stepping stones” to deeper and deeper meditations.
These “stepping stones” of subtle sensations are like connecting pieces that opens you up to the visceral experience of the “Om Vibration,” the resonance of exquisitely fine vibrations.
I found that the “subtle sensations” in the body (and spine) are readily accessible and easily felt by our sensitive nervous systems. From my perspective I can describe the process as this: feeling into the overall sensation of the body…and then feeling slightly deeper…and then slightly deeper, etc.
This approach sounds easy enough to do…and I believe that it truly is. However, if there is any difficulty in accessing the subtle realms/vibrations in the body, it is in the mind’s resistance to feeling deeply.
Of course we all have the capacity to feel deeply, as evidenced whenever we have emotional outbursts of joy, sadness, anger, etc. My suggestion here is to use this capacity (to feel deeply) with intention… to follow sensations to finer and finer points of subtlety. Following just the sensation!
Now, what I mean by the mind’s “resistance” to feeling deeply is the habitual pattern of the mind to follow the trail of thoughts and memories that are connected with the sensations…instead of just focusing on the sensation/vibration.
l found that as I began focusing on just the overall sensation of the body, the mind would begin to relax and the thoughts would slow down, with occasional moments (flashes) when thoughts would stop altogether.
These momentary flashes of “no-thought,” as fleeting as they were, imparted intimations of the vastly wide and deep “Bliss Resonance.” I think of these “intimations” as a kind of “pattern disrupt” that shifts the body and mind to a very different relationship with the Life Force (the energies moving through the body)…and how we interact with sensations/vibrations.
Normally we do not pay much attention to our familiar, “day-to-day” set of sensations. We do not give much thought to the overall vibration of Being. There does not seem to be any reason or purpose for doing so.
Of course, whenever we are in physical or emotional pain, our attention is drawn towards the feelings of pain, usually with reactivity…wanting to be free of the pain.
Now, it is easier to feel into subtle sensations when the body and mind are fairly calm and free of pain. However, the very practice of feeling into subtle sensations has a practical benefit of easing physical and emotional pain, even if just a little.
This can be a challenge because when we are in pain, the last thing we want to do is to tune into and feel deeper into the pain! For this reason it is important to experience the process of tuning into subtle sensations when the body and mind are fairly stable and free of pain.
I remember suffering severely from the intense pain of sciatica and nothing seemed to help, even my practice of tuning into the subtle sensations. The pain was like a “bull-in-the-china shop” of any connection that I may have had with fine vibrations.
However, I found it interesting that I could feel two simultaneous “rivers” of sensations: one that was intensely painful and the other one that had a kind of “underground” reverberation that was comforting. It did not free me of pain, but it shifted my reactivity to it.
Learning to access deep states of meditative trance is not difficult when you allow yourselves to simply feel the overall resonance of the body…with the intention to follow sensations to deeper and deeper subtlety.
The initial states of meditative trance bring a noticeable slowing down of thoughts, relaxation of body and a magnetic-like inward pull of attention to what feels like the central core of the body.
You may also begin to notice a pleasant, “feel-good” sensation building up in the spine, along with a spontaneously-occurring uplift of the eyes in their sockets. The “uplift” feeling also happens in the spine.
As you gain greater facility with feeling into and surrendering to these subtle sensations, you will find your mind/consciousness going into one-pointed focus, as the growing Bliss Resonance fills the entire experience of Being!
The feeling of the Bliss Resonance begins as a most subtle “feel-good” sensation that seems to vibrate delicately in the spine. This too, is not difficult to experience…it just requires a setting aside of any resistance to vibrations that are slightly below the surface of familiar and seemingly insignificant sensations.
When going into meditative trance, you will notice the eyes naturally lifting upwards…along with a spontaneous uplift of the spine. This “uplift” energy has a feel-good sensation connected with it.
How to connect with this “feel-good” sensation? There are many ways, but one that I suggest is this: take a deep breath…exhale, relax…and then keep the breath out until you begin to feel the need to breathe in again. However, for purposes of this exercise, keep the breath out slightly longer…feel a subtle giddiness arise…and then breathe in deeply, exhale and tune into the subtle “feel-good” sensation that accompanies the satisfying of the need for breath.
For as long as you can, focus upon the subtle, pleasant feeling that comes with the satisfying of the need for breath. A deeper connection with this feeling is developed as you follow it to its source.