Tag Archives: lessons of lyme disease

Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part X

The main point I wish to convey here is that the problem solving, linear/logical mind, as powerful and important as it is in taking care of our bodies/minds/psyches in our daily lives can, ironically, get in the way of the healing that we seek. It creates huge barriers of judgments, prejudices and dismissiveness when it comes to things outside the narrow spectrum of “acceptable” or quantifiable “reality.”

The logical mind seems to have no trouble on the “playing field” of well defined rules and codes of behavior. For example, in games of sport, there are agreed rules and codes of behavior, with well defined boundaries of “play.” This is something that is engaging and naturally attractive to the mind, because, win or lose, it all makes sense to the mind.

In the realms of medicine, there are massive systems and structures in place that have scientifically tried and proven treatment protocols that have had amazing success. However, with certain illnesses/diseases, such as with Lyme Disease, cancers, autoimmune diseases, etc., science has yet to discover definitive cures.

In my experience with Lyme Disease, in a strange (and even weird) way, it showed me a different way of “looking” at my disease. Initially, my mind desperately wanted to follow a step-by-step medical protocol, to take a regimen of pills and be healed. it wanted a return to “normalcy.” However, I saw and experienced it as a vampiric entity that embedded itself in my body/mind/psyche.

This showed me aspects of the mind that, on one level, has a natural affinity and attachment to familiar patterns in the environment. It is very quick to recognize and judge what it likes and does not like…and what it does not like, or what challenges its predominance, is quick to judge, size up, label and dismiss.

On another and perhaps deeper level, Lyme Disease and especially my “conversation” with the Lyme Entity showed me an aspect of mind far outside the spectrum of normal/familiar for me…and yet any reactivity and quickness to judge and to dismiss the experience did not come up, which proved to be an important part in my ultimate healing.

I came to understand that having strong and quick judgments about things that made me uncomfortable or ill, fostered a dismissive and abrasive mindset that had a way of shutting down my energetic field…which contributed to agitation and restlessness…things not conducive to healing.

In my own healing from Lyme Disease, I cannot say with certainty that the healing protocols that I followed led to my ultimate healing. There seemed to be some unquantifiable intervening steps that took place that created the “perfect storm” of a “healing crisis.”

What I mean by this is that in all the major and minor protocols that I explored and followed, the final one led me to the jungles of Peru to partake in a very strict Uchu Sanango Dieta, during which I was in isolation for eight days, administered to by only the Shaman.

Now, Uchu Sanango is considered one of many “ordeal” medicines by the Shamans of Peru and for me it proved to be the most painful experiences of my life. In my work with other plant medicines, I was quite familiar with strong purgative medicines…but Uchu Sanango was way beyond anything I had experienced before!

Please pardon the following graphic/gross descriptions of my experience. Do not read the following if you are queasy… but I feel it is important to include in my narrative.

On the second day, a number of hours after drinking my cup of medicine at 3am, I had the purge of a lifetime! It was so violent and unrelenting that at one point I was gasping for air, during which at one point the timing of vomiting and breathing in coincided. I breathed into my lungs a large quantity of vomit (medicine and bile) that had been in my stomach for hours!

The pain was so intense that I went into visionary state wherein I felt the Lyme Entity leave my body from the top of my head, like it was being unwound from my shoulders, neck and head. This occurred with facial contortions and vocal hissing. Although I was out of my mind from the pain, there seemed to be a part of me that was able to observe and remember every part of the experience.

My thinking about the experience is this: the searing heat going through my lungs and body made it too inhospitable for the Lyme Entity to remain.

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Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part I

In 2013, after having been bitten by a deer tic, I contracted Lyme Disease, which turned my life upside down for two years. Having to deal with my fast moving downward spiral of symptoms provided a kind of shattering and “pulverizing-to-the-ego” experience that demanded a way of listening and feeling that I’m not sure I could have learned otherwise. The following post describes my experience.

Connecting deeply with the underlying Bliss Resonance of the body and spinal centers is not necessarily a “step-by-step,” neat and tidy process no matter how diligent we might be in adhering to meditation technique and the guidance and wisdom of ancient teachings and teachers. At least this has been my experience.

During my earlier years as a monk, the sense of belonging to a spiritual community gave me a feeling of security, that I was on the right track moving towards what I longed for: wisdom, Divine Love…spiritual enlightenment.

However, what I had prayed for (with the assumption that meditation practice would in a step-by-step fashion manifest) required a dissolution of my secure and tidy spiritual world view. In other words, my “spiritual” life got very messy! It all came crashing down! And as painful as it was, I intuitively knew that I had to let it all go…the teachings, my narrow attachments to the Guru, the spiritual community…all of it!

This is not to say that I devolved into a life of debauchery or skepticism/cynicism. Rather, releasing my monastic persona and spiritual world view was like releasing a life that came to feel “dusty” and “tired.” I had begun to feel like a bonsai tree, with limbs “wired” into place to look and act like a monk…and with “roots” unable to grow deeply.

Leaving the ashram gave me the “breathing room” to experience life untethered by the narrow constraints (as well as the safety and protection) of the ashram and community “group-think.” However, leaving was a scary place to be, bringing up all the fears and inner “shadows” long hidden beneath the protective facade of my monastic persona. Having released the “secure” and structured lifestyle of the ashram, along with the feeling of free-fall, seemed to allow a wider space for me to feel and to listen to the inner whispers of all my fears, desires and longings.

Years rolled by and the “perfect storm” of ego-pulverizing events occurred when I contracted Lyme Disease in 2013. I went through a hellish two years, during which the feelings of always being sick and exhausted were not the scary parts, as I had a reference point in my life for knowing what it was like to feel sick and exhausted.

What was truly scary for me was the feeling that I was losing my mind…hearing voices, having hallucinations, losing my memory, etc. I felt that I was on a slow/fast downward spiral in which my best efforts amounted to very little on the balance scale of healing.

In my journey of healing from Lyme Disease, I explored many avenues of approach, as the standard of care in Western Medicine (antibiotics) was not enough to rid me of the insidious spirochetes. Among many things, I radically adjusted my diet, used Rife Machine, Edgar Cayce protocols, etc.  However, what finally brought full healing for me was working with certain plant medicines (mainly Uchu Sanango) from the Peruvian Rainforest while going on a 10 day Isolation “Dieta,” administered to by only the shaman.

Working with Uchu Sanango was by far the most difficult and painful experience of my life, as ridding myself of Lyme Disease seemed to require drastic measures. However, since then (2015), all symptoms of Lyme Disease have vanished, never to return! (To be Continued).

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Filed under healing, Overcoming fear, Receiving Spirit