Tag Archives: kundalini awakening

Focusing the Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part X

What happens after you clap your hands and then feel deeper and deeper into the slowly diminishing vibrations, as suggested in Part IX of “Focusing the Mind for Deeper Meditation”? You may notice how long you are able to track the vibrations, even as they get finer and finer (less noticeable).

By continuing to track the vibrations, you may come to a point of feeling the underlying “buzz” or “Hum” of the energetic field of the body. In experiencing the subtle Hum as can be felt in the hands, you will also feel its connectivity with the forearms, upper arms, shoulders, neck, etc. The whole body will be felt as a wave of sensation/vibration.

Alongside, or perhaps just below this subtle vibration, there is an exquisitely fine sensation that imparts a beguiling, infinitely nuanced response in the centermost space of the body…the Bliss Resonance!

The body/mind/psyche that relaxes, surrenders to this resonance, easily accesses meditative trance and begins to move and adjust in dance-like micro movements, which includes spontaneous twisting, spiraling, contortions of the body.

The inner witnessing mind learns to stay out of the way and not interrupt the Divine Dance that takes place. Any efforts to control or guide the experience can cut your connection with the subtle Bliss Resonance.

Any resistance to the strong current moving through the field of the body can result in grotesque flailing of body and limbs, especially if the body and nervous system are not prepared to receive the strong voltage of the awakening Life Force…Kundalini!

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Focusing the Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part VII

Turtle Medicine - Live in Peace Art by Bruce Manaka

Turtle Medicine – Live in Peace Art by Bruce Manaka

The overall sensation of the body during periods of meditation practice resolves to an awareness of an underlying vibration, a gentle “hum.” This is a feeling experience that has a way of focusing the mind to moments of one-pointed attention.

Perhaps a more accurate depiction is that the easily distracted and active mind is rendered silent as it is “gripped” by the inwardly felt resonance of the “Hum.” During these moments of one-pointed attention, of “no-thought,” there is only the visceral experience of the subtle currents of “Life Force.”

The mind/consciousness that is “caught” in the currents of Life Force (the awakening Kundalini), experiences a different perspective with its sense of self and the normally active and easily distracted mind. It is able to observe dispassionately the rising and falling of thoughts…with fleeting moments of “no-thoughts.”

In other words, it is able to observe the mind for what it is: an energetic vortex of energy connected with the body that in normal waking state is constantly “firing-off” thoughts, memories, desires, like/dislikes, etc. It is able to observe without attaching to them!

The mind that is held in the “current” of the underlying “Hum” of the body easily goes into meditative trance. Its perspective changes from outward focus to inward focus that locks into the ever-deepening sensations of subtle vibrations.

Although the process of connecting with the subtle currents of the inwardly flowing Life Force (Kundalini) is simple enough, it may seem like the most difficult thing to do…until you allow yourselves to simply feel what you feel in the moment…and then to go slightly deeper.

The going “slightly deeper” is important in that there is a subtle shift in the mind and body that takes place. There is a focusing affect that occurs, along with a bodily sensation. This is subtle and the mind may not want to pay attention to something so mundane and simple.

However, I believe everyone has the ability to notice this transition and my suggestion here is to hold intention to explore this seemingly uninteresting transition. The very intention and act of exploring nuances of vibration in the body allows an opening or entryway to deeper and deeper subtleties of the energetic field of the body.

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Focusing the Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part V

Kundalini Awakening

When Kundalini Awakens

The sensations of the incoming and outgoing breath become finer and finer, threadlike, as you deepen your focus upon the infinitely nuanced vibrations that play in the central core of the body, especially in the spine.

The subtle sensations of breath may, at first, not be noticed because of the habit patterns of mind that are conditioned to chase after distractions of thoughts, memories, desires, likes/dislikes, pain/pleasure, etc.

You have the capacity to notice and feel exquisitely subtle sensations created by the movements of breath. I believe it just requires getting past the gatekeeper of the analytical mind just long enough to simply feel in the moment…and then slightly deeper.

The “slightly deeper” part, although not difficult to access, can be where the mind gets in the way. Even with strong intention to feel into subtle currents of the Life Force, the mind may not truly recognize the invitation of the moment when it has the opportunity to go once again “slightly deeper.”

The mind, in normal waking state, that vibrates in resonance with Earth density, cannot help but continue in its constant engagement with body, mind, ego, desires, etc. Recognition of the subtle Life Force seems to happen in those fleeting gaps when the mind is not “firing off,” in moments when the feeling connection is made with the sublime vibration (Kundalini). In those moments, there is only sensation/vibration, with an awareness of a deeper underlying connection with a nectar-like sweetness.

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Focusing the Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part II

Shaman's Dream III, art by Bruce Manaka

When connected feeling-wise with the subtle sensations that move through the body while meditating, the “practice” of meditation technique may fall away. In its place, meditation “practice” transforms into what seems to be more a natural and spontaneous dance of “micro-movements.”

These micro-movements are guided by the connection you develop with the refined energies of the Life Force, experienced as a most delicate and uplifting sensation felt in the central core of the spine.

As you gain greater familiarity with these subtle vibrations, you will come to understand how the body is able to spontaneously adjust and “posture” itself in infinitely nuanced “micro-movements.”

These “postures” and movements can only be described in most general terms, as it is not possible to adequately describe and quantify the infinite subtleties of how the awakening Life Force (Kundalini) moves through the interior landscape of body, bones, fascia.

When I watch certain kinds of dance, especially Balinese dance and belly dance, to me certain movements of hands/fingers and spine/neck are deeply reminiscent of the movements that I feel when connecting with the energies of Kundalini.

Perhaps the movements of the dancers can be described, taught and learned, but the infinite nuances of the internal “micro-movements” can only be intimated about, poetically rendered as a most delicious, nectar-like substance in the spine!

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The Paradox of Subtlety—When Kundalini Comes Like a “Thief in the Night” Part X

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When you begin to recognize the subtle forces at play…the push/pull/squeeze/twisting dynamics of the Life Force moving in the body, especially in the spine, then you will recognize the great gift you have been given that allows connection with the Divine Current!

It is the gift of being able to “tune-in” quickly to the proverbial “needle-in-a-haystack” of the exquisitely fine Bliss Resonance” vibrating deliciously in the spine!

The “Divine Current” can be thought of as a high frequency field of vibration that, through resonance, begins to shift the “density” of the body to a finer vibration. You will also find that whatever “lifts” and shifts the vibration of the body automatically tunes the mind to the higher frequency…again through principles of resonance.

The paradox is how close and easily accessible these subtle vibrations/sensations are! Your mind has the ability and capacity to naturally and quickly shift to a deeply focused, one-pointed attunement with the subtle currents.

In a nutshell, feeling into the fine sensations of the body (especially in the spine) has a way of focusing the mind. These moments might be fleeting in the beginning, but the visceral experience of connecting with finer and finer sensations gives you an inner acknowledgement (an inner “aha!”) of what happens when you “touch” the underlying sensation of the body/mind/psyche!

The experience is exquisitely subtle, but it is also a “big deal” because you recognize how very close and easily accessible the vibration has always been. It also represents a major shift in your relationship with your Life Force and your approach to meditation.

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The Paradox of Subtlety—When Kundalini Comes Like a “Thief in the Night” Part IX

Turtle Medicine by Bruce Manaka

Turtle Medicine, artwork by Bruce Manaka

The paradox of subtlety (of sensations) in the body, to me, is a grand mystery! It is a mystery how certain sensations in the spine/body, so subtle and seemingly insignificant, can be so powerfully activating when we allow ourselves to feel their fine reverberations!

I realize now that what was always accessible feeling-wise (subtle vibrations), I did not give much or any attention to. Even with all the years of meditation practice, with intention to go below the surface of the superficial, I did not truly “get” the significance of feeling into finer and finer sensations.

Here is what I believe happened that prevented me from connecting with the subtle vibrations. In my strong desire to meditate and to live the monastic life, my focus on meditation “practice” and living the monastic lifestyle created a protective shielding that insulated me from primal energies, of sex and wild, chaotic stirrings of the unconscious mind.

The paradox is that, for me, although the monastic lifestyle was able to provide structure and community to seek the Divine, at a certain point the “structure” was unable to accommodate the wild unraveling and unwinding of the awakening Life Force….Kundalini!

Think of it in this way: as you surely know, life and circumstances can at times get messy…really messy! With the awakening Kundalini, there seems to be an added component of “strangeness,” especially during times when body/mind/psyche are getting severely shaken.

During such times, the body can go through spontaneous contortions and gyrations as the energy builds up to a crescendo in the spine. It seems to me that the body lagged way behind in its capacity to process and manage the resonance of the high vibrations of Kundalini.

Leaving the ashram provided the initial “pattern disrupt,” shaking loose the structures and mind habits of how I approached meditation and spirituality in general.

I find it fascinating how the mind (my egoic mind) wants to make sense of its place in the world as well as to define and ascribe “meaning” to all things, including the wild ride of the awakening Kundalini.

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The Paradox of Subtlety—When Kundalini Comes Like a “Thief in the Night” Part VIII

Bruce Manaka Art

Considering how pulverizing to the body, mind and ego the Kundalini process can be, where does the “sweetness” come in? Now, this is an aspect of the awakening Kundalini that to me is quite paradoxical. It (sweetness) is there along with all the feelings of getting crushed, ground to dust.

For me, the concept of “sweet sorrows” somewhat captures an aspect or part of the experience of the awakening Kundalini. It is akin to the feelings of nostalgia, where there is a heart-wrenching longing to return “home”… where our sense of home is not so much the longing for our earthly abode, but rather the intuitive knowing and longing for a return to the Divine Sacred.

Of course, when going through a lot of pain, whether physical, mental, or spiritual, the pain has a way of taking up all of our attention, and the biggest desire is usually to be free of the pain.

Perhaps you’ve experienced this, that when pain (of whatever cause) is so prolonged and unrelenting, that you feel you cannot take one more moment of it…and there is only a cry/scream for help that comes from the deepest place of longing…of surrender.

I believe there is a place within each of us that has a memory of not only our own sufferings, but also a kind of collective memory of the sufferings of all beings. This happens through the field of resonance that surrounds the heart, connecting us with the wider field of the Cosmic Heart.

This is something that can only be felt…and we get glimpses of this Divine Connection through the haunting experience of “sweet sorrows,” when we’ve been prostrated by life circumstances, “forced to our knees” so-to-speak, to the point where our inner cries for help come from of an intuitive, spontaneous longing to “return home.”

However fleeting this experience might be, it is one that is forever haunting, creating a connection with what I think of as “grace.” To me, grace is a kind of ethereal lifeline that seems to show up miraculously through the darkest of nights!

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The Paradox of Subtlety—When Kundalini Comes Like a “Thief in the Night” Part VII

AwakeIntheDream

Regarding the feelings of “sweetness” mentioned in the previous post, I would like to elaborate further because it is, I believe, at the crux of the process of the awakening Life Force (Kundalini).

Of course, there is no “one-size-fits-all” process of what happens when Kundalini begins to awaken in individuals, but in my opinion, I believe there is a foundational vibration (of Kundalini) that imparts the Bliss response in the spine…which can manifest as “sweetness.”

As Kundalini begins to “awaken” in the spine, a refinement process takes place. For me, in the beginning this “refinement process” felt more like being worked on by jack hammer and wrecking ball! Hardly blissful or comfortable!

A lot of toxic and stuck energy in my body, mind and psyche had to be moved and expelled! Part of the “stuck” energy was my spiritual world view, which served me well for a number of years, but at a certain point got in the way through all the assumptions, expectations, beliefs and attachments regarding how things were “supposed” to work.

In a sense, I created a “hard shell” of protection around my world view, around all that was familiar and “safe” (which included my negative patterns of thoughts/behaviors as well).

Kundalini was like a great shaking that turned everything upside down, introducing me to a very different relationship and perspective with my sense of self and my Life Force.

It was/is a very wild ride! As well as paradoxical, non-linear, impossible to fully quantify or put into a step-by-step process!

Of course the mind likes to encapsulate, define and give meaning to things…and if I can “put in a nutshell” what the process of Kundalini is, I would describe it in this way: refine, purge, integrate…refine, purge, integrate…refine, purge, integrate…and on and on.

The periods of refining and purging are times when old and unhelpful structures of thoughts/behaviors are shifted and then released. The periods of integration allow for adjustment to the new and higher frequencies of being.

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The Paradox of Subtlety—When Kundalini Comes Like a “Thief in the Night” Part VI

Butterfly-Expansion

Artwork by Bruce Manaka

The play and dance of Kundalini is a most delicate feeling connection with finely nuanced sensations inside what seems to be the central core of the spine. We all have the capacity to feel these “currents” of vibration but miss them for want of “tuning in” slightly below the dense and heavy vibrations of the five senses, as well as with the habitual patterns of thoughts, desires, memories, etc.

There is so much that keeps us “busy” and distracted…engaged with all manner of outer distractions! Even with the intention to turn the attention within during periods of meditation, distractions and patterns of mind can distract us from connecting with the subtle vibrations.

When I look back on all the years of my meditation practice, I believe now that it just did not occur to me how important it was/is to feel into the overall sensation of the body…composed of all the seemingly insignificant sensations.

Now, the “overall sensation” of the body seems to resolve to a resonance or “hum” that, when focused upon, opens the awareness to extremely subtle sensations…the awakening of Kundalini!

As you gain greater facility and familiarity with Kundalini, it becomes more and more a play and dance with subtle forces, a most delicate balance of stillness and movement, of thought and no-thought!

My suggestion here, when feeling into the overall sensation/resonance of the body, to pay special attention to the subtle feeling of sweetness…even if it is just a “grain of sand’s” worth! Remember the paradox of subtlety: what seems to be so small, insignificant, can have huge impact on the consciousness!

The smallest feeling of sweetness, however it shows up for you, can be latched onto and followed to its source. There you will begin to understand and “get” the power (and paradox) of subtlety!

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The Paradox of Subtlety—When Kundalini Comes Like a “Thief in the Night” Part V

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When feeling into the “overall resonance” of the body, you might notice feeling a fine underlying vibration/sensation that can be tracked to deeper and deeper levels and that is refined to a most subtle “activating center.”

For me, this “activating center” is felt between the shoulder blades. It is “activating” in the sense that it seems to have a kind of push/pull play (like a magnet) of forces that creates a dance-like dynamic…between tension and relaxation, stillness and movement.

Another way of explaining this: if you observe the incoming breath, along with all the muscles involved with breathing in, you will feel a certain amount of tension, with a very subtle “lifting up” sensation. With the outgoing breath, you might feel a relaxation of tension, along with a “down-flow” of sensation.

Normally we do not pay much attention to the subtleties of the incoming and outgoing breath, but what I’m suggesting here in these posts is that, when you allow yourselves to explore the inner landscape of finer and finer sensations/vibrations, you will begin to also notice extremely nuanced forces at play in the body, especially in the the spine.

As you become familiar with these forces, you will also notice how the body will automatically, spontaneously adjust in most delicate micro-movements and ultimately in dance-like movements that allows for the greater expansion and flow of the Life Force, Kundalini.

This is all a play and dance of Kundalini, the activated primal life force in the spine. When connected with these subtle (and at times not-so-subtle) forces, you will have a very different perspective with your body, breath, life force, mind, Self and Nature…a perspective that experiences these things as waves of fine vibrations/sensations, connected with the underlying resonance or Hum of Creation!

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