Surrendering to the Cosmic Dance, artwork by Bruce Manaka
I think of the “Cosmic Dance” as a play with subtle sensations that are always accessible when we allow ourselves to shift to the mindset that allows that there are no insignificant sensations.
With this shift in perspective, the awareness is then opened to infinitely fine nuances of vibrations that move through the body in waves, pulsations, reverberations, etc.
Again, these sensations are not difficult to feel. I believe the main “hurdle” is in the mind’s habit of discounting and ignoring what it may deem to be insignificant…unworthy of exploring. In other words, what value/purpose in exploring subtle sensations/vibrations?
The mind will do what it is “patterned” to do, to judge, define and assign relative value to all things in its environment. Why would it want to pay attention to what may seem insignificant, mundane?
My suggestion here is that, when simply feeling into finer and finer vibrations, it is fairly easy to experience what I’ve referred to earlier as the “feel-good” sensation. Initially this is very subtle, but still easy to feel. As you focus upon this subtle sensation, notice how the mind shifts, begins to quiet down.
The mind goes into “Observer/Witness” mode and the experience of the overall sensation of the body begins to feel wider and wider as the underlying Bliss Resonance begins to percolate up in your awareness.
The focus of mind upon subtle sensations is like holding to a delicate “thread” of vibration. This “thread” creates a fine tension in the body that can be tracked to what may feel like “center,” or the central channel of the spine.
For me, the sensation of “giddiness” comes fairly close in describing the vibration…a gentle, subtle giddiness moving deliciously, like strands of silk being pulled through the spine!
It is an activating sensation sourced not in any coarse, outer stimulation, but rather in an inwardly focused attention that connects with finer and finer “currents” and “waves” of subtle sensations (the awakening Kundalini).
What I believe happens is that as the attention is inwardly focused upon fine vibrations, at a certain point, the awareness connects with the expansiveness of the inwardly directed mind…like stepping into the “slip-stream” of the Bliss Resonance that begins to percolate up in awareness the more we feel into subtlety!
The giddiness part occurs as a result of the buildup of energy (Life Force) in response to the body’s connection with the bubbling up of the Bliss Resonance. As mentioned before, initially the Bliss Resonance may be experienced as a gentle “feel-good” sensation in the spine and rest of the body.
With greater sensitivity to these subtle sensations, you might notice that the body intuitively knows how to adjust to the buildup of the Life Force in the spine and body through “micro-movements” and certain postures. These “adjustments” happen naturally and spontaneously.
At this point you will understand that what you might be experiencing as giddiness is the energy that is prompting you to adjust the body in micro-movements. The play of subtlety has begun! You have entered the realm of the Cosmic Dance!
Surrendering to the Cosmic Dance – Artwork by Bruce Manaka
Surrendering to the Cosmic Dance
In learning to focus the mind for deeper meditation, there is a dynamic interplay of mind that occurs with the Life Force. I think of the Life Force as the underlying “Hum” or resonance of the body.
Another way of describing this process is that when the attention is placed on the overall sensation of the body, the mind is given an “opening” or invitation to follow the sensation to finer and finer points of subtlety.
The mind and body then goes deeper and deeper into meditative “swoon,” or connection with the Bliss Resonance. In the beginning, the Bliss Resonance is quite subtle, like drawing closer and closer to a rose garden…at first receiving only intimations and wisps of the sweet fragrances.
However, as you learn to navigate and feel deeper and deeper into subtle sensations, you may notice how the mind and body are affected by the “intimations” and “wisps” of the fine vibrations.
Please understand that you all have the ability to feel into exceedingly fine vibrations. It just requires that you allow yourselves to feel below the surface of familiar sensations…and then continuing to feel deeper and deeper.
In my experience, the process is very much like like learning to dance…surrendering to the lead of the fine, subtle and magnetic push/pull/play of the Life Force!
The sensation of the current of Life Force moving in the body (especially in the central core of the spine) naturally and automatically focuses the mind, drawing it within to exquisitely subtle sensations…just like iron filings to a magnet.
Attuning to the vibration/sensation requires a delicate balance between tension and relaxation…as the movement of the Life Force in the central core of the body creates a sensation that activates the body to “contort,” to fall into “swoon.”
Finding the balance point between tension and relaxation is important because, in the beginning, the tension of the body contortion can quickly exhaust the body. As you gain familiarity with the contortion energy, you learn to modulate the buildup of energy without overextending the energy of the body.
As I’ve mentioned many times in previous posts, connecting with the subtle sensations of the Life Force (the awakening Kundalini) is not a difficult process. I realize, though, the immense paradox of how a vibration so close (and obvious), can remain seemingly hidden, unobtainable for a lifetime(s)!
The subtle sensation is available, accessible through every movement, every posture…in yawning, in stretching the body, in every smile, in tears, through sex… through every body function!
The connecting piece, which I believe is also the “missing ingredient” that opens the feeling connection with the subtle sensations (at play in the central core of the spine), is surrender…to the dance.
Not a passive surrendering to any and all vibrations, but a listening, feeling and falling (surrendering) towards expansion, towards what imparts an uplift of the heart. In surrendering to the Cosmic Dance, there is a deep release of self to follow the lead of Higher Self!
When tuning into the subtle “nudges” of the life force, as felt in the spine during meditation, you may find yourself naturally lifting/stretching the spine upwards…because it feels good to allow the expanding energies an unimpeded pathway to flow in the spine. You will then viscerally understand the recommendation of meditation technique to “keep the spine straight.”
However, what technique does not normally describe or suggest is how to feel into the infinitely subtle sensations that “nudge” the body to move/adjust/dance in nuanced micro-movements…while keeping the spine erect.
When deeply listening and feeling into the Life Force (Kundalini), in the beginning you may feel a growing sensation of “giddiness.” As you go slightly deeper, you will come to understand these sensations as a kind of “nudge” or “tap-on-the-shoulders” so-to-speak.
At that point you may intuitively relax and surrender to the lead of what is calling for your attention. You will then learn to enjoy the Cosmic Dance that the body and mind take up with the Life Force/Kundalini!
Also, the body will naturally assume certain postures, your hands/fingers will take up certain “mudras, all on their own, as you relax and surrender to the increasingly blissful inner sensations. These postures and mudras are spontaneous “shapes” and “geometries” that the body takes up as it falls into alignment/resonance with the Divine Vibration that moves through the energetic field of the body.
When Kundalini begins Her wild dance of dissolution in our lives, She is like the proverbial “bull in the china shop” that indelicately stomps to dust everything in our “neat and tidy” playing field that has grown too small for Her Cosmic Dance! And She doesn’t seem to care if it makes a total mess!
There is an aspect of Kundalini that can be described as “mirthful”…which to me is an unusual offshoot of Bliss. Here is how I would describe “Divine Mirth”: When circumstances test us to our limits, when things get so wild, chaotic, seemingly impossible to navigate, when we are “ground to dust” so-to-speak, there can be a part of us that is still able to “see/get” the “over-the-top” craziness of the Divine Hand at play, to understand the Cosmic Setup that we’ve been placed in.
With this “revelation” there might be a kind of “What the bleepin’ Hell!!!” response within that is not connected with anger, not connected with “Why is this happening to me?” reaction, but rather with a most likely response of “Holy crap! I don’t know sh*t!!!…along with a deep release through laughter…Divine Mirth!
In exploring the vibrations of vocal sounds/tones, the important part is to feel the sensations that are created in the body, especially the most subtle ones. This draws the mind deeply within and engages the awareness in ways vastly different from our habitual patterns that we’ve grown familiar with.
In other words, by feeling into and attuning ourselves to the very fine and subtle vibrations (as initiated by our vocal cords), we come to realize that the human body and consciousness has infinitely fine sensitivity to vibrations and feelings that we may not have previously experienced…due in part to no inability on our parts to do so, but in the simple reason that it may not have occurred to us to even explore/attempt such an endeavor!
The process is simple: to feel and follow sensations to their point of subtlety. There is no difficulty in doing this. Any perceived difficulty may be that we’re not convinced or intrigued enough to even try this approach. It may not even occur to us to feel beyond and underneath what has become habitual and familiar in our realms of feelings. And yet…
To those who are curious enough to explore the subtle sounds and overtones of their voice, to feel and follow the fine sensations that are created, they will quickly discover very fine vibrations that draws the mind/consciousness deeply within. They will tap into gossamer threads of the finest, tinkling sensations in the spine…and the body goes into and assumes a most delicately balanced “contortion” that holds the mind as though in a silken “vice grip” of most subtle Bliss Resonance!
The body comes to feel like quicksilver, coiling, twisting, contorting…engaged in a kind of Cosmic Dance! It is all infinitely subtle and divinely ravishing!
Part I of “Kundalini Dance of Subtlety” can be accessed here
I think that it’s kind of ironic that, for me, Kundalini did not activate for me until having dropped my strong attachments to meditation techniques, as well as leaving an ashram that I lived as a monk for 19 years.
For me, releasing the strong “matrix” of spiritual community and “group think” created an inner feeling of “free-fall,” having nothing to stand on, or hold onto…which then offered me intimations of primal and chaotic sensations/energies moving through my body and psyche.
A few years after having left the ashram, I began singing, vocalizing in very unusual ways: throat singing (similar to Mongolian and Tibetan styles). Singing in this way came very quickly and easily for me. The subtleties of vocal overtones helped me to disconnect my thinking and any stories that would normally go round and round in my head (sadness, grief, etc.)
So many layers of density, of sadness and grief have had to be released/purged in the intervening years (since 2001). Kundalini, in the form of the Mother came to me in 2009. I felt/thought that she was extremely shy. She turned to me three times, without saying anything, beckoning me to follow her into my spine. I intuited immediately and felt her as Kundalini.
I’m glad that there is a mental concept/philosophy such as Kundalini. Otherwise, I might think that I was going a little (or maybe a lot) crazy. It gives my mind something to “chew” on in the sense that my mind seems to go ‘round and ‘round if it cannot make sense of something.
Kundalini, to me, is so far out there, wild, crazy, primal, maddening, blissful, that the mind seems to be right on the borderline of sanity and insanity! I now feel quite safe with Her in the sense of having learned to navigate very strange mental/physical/emotional/spiritual landscapes of Being. It still feels though like being in a world where veils are getting thinner and thinner.
With the onset of Kundalini there has also been times of simply ENDURING…during certain times when no amount of meditation, positive thinking, calling for help seems to ease physical/mental/spiritual suffering. Perhaps it does, but my meaning here is that there seems to be times when we get so “ground to dust” that we don’t have the wherewithal or even the memory to call for help, or shore ourselves up.
This is where Grace seems to come through. And this is my belief: that Kundalini comes with Grace. As blissful and ecstatic as Kundalini can be, it seems to also have a way of grounding us to dust, taking away all props, forcing us to our knees so-to-speak. At least that’s been my experience.
When it had been so, so dark, when I had forgotten myself and how to call for help, this is where Grace had stepped in, like the tiniest sliver of light (my lifeline) in a universe of darkness.
Kundalini, it all seems to be one large Cosmic Dance. Beautiful at times, grotesque at times…but a dance all the same, where we are being asked to let Her lead!
I seek to connect with those who, like me, feel they have been “charged” to hold and ground the Bliss Resonance for Mother Earth. Please contact me if you’d like to experience the ecstatic current in the spine. It is a free session that will be of great benefit for you whether we decide to work together or not. Contact me here if you’d like to: Connect With the Bliss Resonance
I will get back to you but please be sure to check your filtered mail as my email may get placed in your junk mailbox.
When we feel the pulse beat of the Mother flowing through our bodies, the river of surrender calls us to flow with all that is: pain, pleasure and everything in-between. I’ve been dealing with some intense sciatica pains over the last few weeks in my right leg, a result of too much chopping wood. Night after night, unable to sleep, having to get up and hobble around just to manage the pain! Something very interesting though: although I “felt” most severely the pain in my right leg, as I followed it internally to its source, it seemed to pulsate from the deepest center of my Being; and from there a strange question arose, “What do you want?” Of course my immediate answer was “To be free of this blasted pain!” This was followed by another question, “Can you be ok with this?” With this request the body stood up and began to move in an awkward dance accompanied by my muffled sarcastic reply, “Do I have a choice?”
At three a.m. I was in no mood to ponder the infinite complexities of the cosmos nor the words that I just heard. I just wanted to go to sleep and be rid of pain! However, dancing across the floor of my yurt seemed somewhat bizarre and a bit alarming to my wife, who by this time wanted to take me to the hospital. I considered this option but did not want to interrupt the grotesque ballet being enacted. It occurred to me as I continued to witness this unusual tableau that the energetic wave moving through my body was some kind of Cosmic Dance of pain and pleasure. It seemed that the bliss energies in the spine that I had grown accustomed to were moving side-by-side with the intense physical pains as a way to release and balance out the energies in the affected areas. Perhaps writhing on the floor would have been a more “normal” reaction to the pain that I was feeling, but for some inexplicable reason, the dance had taken over, along with a number of mysterious vocalizations that made this episode all the more eerie.
I finally fell asleep at around 4:30am, not because the pain had subsided, but because I was exhausted. The body had to go through its dance of pain and no matter how much I desired a release from its grip, I was allowed only meager moments of respite. At some point during my cherished sleep, the question, “Can you be ok with this?” changed into “I’m ok with this.” It went on automatically like a song sung feverishly with no thinking involved, just the sound vibrations moving through the body like little snakes darting in and around my hips and legs.
As I sit here now, a few weeks after having experienced the above story, the pain has subsided substantially and the leg is on the road to complete recovery; and yet the question, “Can you be ok with this?” continues to surface daily as a reminder of the pain and its call for me to dance with what may be most uncomfortable. I am reminded that certain repetitive movements of breath and body helps to move energy. It is not so much a matter of “practicing” techniques, but rather an allowing of the energy to “dance” in ways that it wishes to move.
It is all a play of energy, an allowing of the dance to move through and within the bodily field. The beautiful resonance of Love and Bliss are already in the field and it is just a matter of letting what is already within us entrain with the Cosmic Dance.