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Danced by Kundalini

The resonance of the body shifts as you allow yourself to “just be” in your meditation “practice.” The idea of “practicing” meditation falls away as you tune deeper and deeper into the experience of the energetic field, allowing the awareness of its magnetic current to expand naturally and easily. In this way, meditation becomes a doorway or portal to the Divine Current, a great releasing of self to the dance and radiation of Spirit! It may outwardly look like quietly sitting, or it may look like a whirling dance of ecstatic movement. In utter stillness or ecstatic dance, the inner experience is a total abandonment to the Blissful Current!

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It is interesting to note that in my serious “practice” of meditation (Kriya technique), my seriousness and adherence to the strict discipline of meditation would ironically and ultimately be the “wall” beyond which I could not, for the life of me, seem to be able to go beyond. I derived a lot of satisfaction and sense of peace from meditation, but after years of “practice,” it became a static routine.

Looking back at those years, it is very easy now to see that I was needing to lighten up… a lot… a whole lot! Now there are many positives that can be derived from being strict and disciplined… It’s just that my narrow focus on technique became a rigid barrier to the openness and fluidity required in order to “feel” the delicate and subtle Bliss currents. I was so intent on “finding God” and “getting into the spine” that I missed Her gentle touch during the many times that She tried to get my attention. I was so busy doing my “108 kriyas” and six hour meditations that I did not know how to recognize her voice, nor did I know how to respond whenever She invited me to “come out and play.” I learned well to hide behind my meditations and discipline.

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Connecting with the Kundalini Bliss currents in the spine is in some ways like learning to ride a bicycle… once you learn, you never forget. The point is in getting to that place wherein you viscerally “know” and can “feel” the connection, the sensations that seem to arise from the deepest primordial feelings connected with pleasure, survival, fear, love, etc. We already are familiar with these sensations. It’s just that we humans, for the most part, have forgotten how to “dance” with Kundalini… we have also forgotten how to “be” danced by Her.

This is where “lightening up” comes in… releasing rigidity around the many layers of beliefs and assumptions that we may have about God, Guru, spirituality, techniques, etc. These beliefs may be perfectly beautiful and fine, but the idea is to allow a wider space, a beginner’s mindset in order for expansion to happen. Kundalini seems to require a very large field of play wherever She shows up!

When She does show up, perhaps as a gentle sensation in the spine, it is helpful to relax and “pay attention,” to feel deeply. This may all sound quite obvious, but the idea is to “follow subtlety,” to follow the finest nuances of vibration and sensations as they move in the bodily field. As you learn to apprehend finer and finer sensations, you also learn that the entire body can be thought of as a “Bliss Generating Machine.” You then have learned to dance with Kundalini and to be danced by Her!

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Bliss Consciousness: the Transmission

Certain positions of the body, combined with the internal “squeezing” of particular muscle groups generates unbelievable degrees of bliss sensations in the bodily field for those who are familiar with Kundalini energies. The awareness then naturally follows the vibration to deeper and deeper nuances of its expression. Like waves that come and go, yet the consciousness is ever aware of its connection with the Infinite Ocean!

It is so simple and yet understandable why this awareness eluded me for most of my life. Rather, I eluded it. I unconsciously shielded myself from the vast “feelings” implied, too outwardly preoccupied to look into the deep abyss of Self. It was easier to lose myself in the challenges of “surface” living, focusing on the day-to-day struggles and responsibilities, endeavoring to do my duty and dharma as any good citizen of the world would do. It was the default “nine-to-five” daily grind existence handed down to all of us by the predominant culture of a world mindset  that did not know how to connect with the deepest layers of the human psyche – let alone Bliss Consciousness.

There is no “technique” that needs to be “practiced.” The energy will do what it needs to do in order to clear out any impediment or blockage to bliss energy. The body then assumes certain positions of itself to intensify and magnetize the field of the spine and body. Our conscious part is to allow the energy to move as it wants to in the body in order to build up the  field of Kundalini. A gentle twisting or stretching of the spine may suffice, along with a deep listening and feeling for the subtle vibrations that accompanies every posture and movement. This blissful, cosmic vibration is the very river and ocean of Love, in all its power and subtlety! It is the dance of Creation moving through all bodies, singing through all Nature, in the stars and galaxies!

We miss its presence because we distract ourselves with the countless mental stories of our little daily dramas. We short-circuit our direct access to bliss through the culturally created belief that the connection with Spirit/Bliss is only for the saints and supermen/women. And so it is for lifetimes that we pass this belief down through the generations.

There is no difficulty in connecting with this great power. Any perceived difficulty lies only in our resistance to the depths of our feelings. We fear the ocean of Bliss, forgetful of our divine connection with its infinite waters. We are the Ocean! What seems so immense and vast and overwhelming within Nature is a reflection of the infinite depths of our Selves. We hide and lose ourselves in the drunkenness of forgetfulness, choosing to stay little because it is too scary to feel the vastness of our Cosmic Selves. It feels safer to be wrapped in the cocoon of smallness, more comfortable to remain in the “safety” of limitation. We equate “familiarity” with safety and security and then lose our way, haunted by the call of the Eternal Vastness, drowning its voice by magnifying our littleness, building edifices of beliefs that protect our narrow existence in a world that depends on the security of fight and struggle. And yet the transmission of light is available to all who would simply allow themselves to feel deeply and to embrace even that which may seem at first uncomfortable and unpleasant.

Feel! And then follow the sensations as they go deeper and deeper within, along the trail of subtlety. Understand that the heart is a most powerful instrument that can plumb the depths of the deepest realms of any dimension. We then follow the vibration to its most subtle and sublime realm.

This is the transmission: allowing ourselves to feel and follow the pathways of subtlety wherein lie the primal forces of Cosmic Energy. Our deep listening and feeling then becomes the teacher, the guru. This elemental force is conscious and creative and knows how to magnify itself in the bodily field. Again, there is no sense of “practicing” a technique, or following and believing in a particular religious path. Teacher, student, path, it all dissolves into the field of the divine play of Bliss that dances and expresses through the unique creation of our lives!

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Surrendering to the Cosmic Stream – The Great Awakening

The day-to-day challenges of your life are the very  patterns that the Universe is asking you to face in order to proceed to the next steps in your evolution. The quick and easy fix of just settling for worldly solutions will not work for you. Your test lies in surrendering to the Cosmic Stream that is asking for a total letting go of self into its ego-shattering current.

What does that mean? I still need to live and survive in the world with all of its financial and physical demands.

The kind of surrender we ask is for a releasing of all that you hold on to regarding who you think you are in relation to the constraints and limitations imposed upon you by the cultural and religious conditioning of a world that continues to keep most souls in places of “stuckness.” We are asking you to expand the “knowing” of yourself as an energetic being; not just thinking and mentally understanding this, but truly feeling this.

You are light! All is light! A great influx of Cosmic Vibration is moving through your planet now. Feel this! Experience this! It is all vibration, a distillation of energy and as such you can instantly change the circumstances of your world by changing its energetic patterns.

The dream you believe to be so real is but energy solidified into the hardboiled existence of pain and separation. Awaken now! Experience now the waves of feelings that flow into the oceanic knowing of Self as the Cosmic Dreamer. You are the Infinite Spirit that allowed itself to be stuck for just a little while upon the island of forgetfulness! The Great Awakening is happening though, and soon enough the sleep of ages will fall from your eyes and you will marvel at the wondrous journey of Love that Spirit intended all Creation to partake in through the Cosmic Dream! Wake up now!

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Ascension Into Higher Dimensions: the Angelic Realms

Angels come in many forms, infinite in variety. Some may not be recognizable as anything that would be associated with the angelic realms. They may come as a certain kind of feeling, or as a fleeting thought. If you limit the possible forms they can inhabit, it is easy to miss them when they are with you. They may come as an almost imperceptible vibration of sound, or a subtle wisp of color that flashes in the mind. If you relegate them only to the archetypes that are familiar and “acceptable,” then most likely they are dismissed when they come as a delightful fragrance or gentle puff of wind upon the cheeks.

People wonder about “Ascension” and what it is like to experience the higher realms. An aspect of Ascension is the moment-to-moment consciousness of the expanded Self, which is the connection to the Angelic dimensions. If you are not aware of anything beyond the physical senses, it is because that is where most of the energy has been allowed to dwell. As you allow the awareness to “feel” on deeper and more subtle levels, you begin to understand that the physical plane is but one dimension of a vast and Infinite Consciousness. It requires a loosening up of the belief forms and feelings around the physical senses. It is a matter of feeling and sensing beyond and beneath for the subtle vibrations that are generally beyond reach of the physical instruments. Feel the vibrations of the colors that you “see.” Feel the sounds of the vibrations you “hear”…and so forth.

Ascension is already here. The Angels have always been with you. You are already connected to the higher realms. The mind that questions, “But I’m still dealing with feelings of lack and limitation,” that is just the mind doing what it has been programmed to do. It is an identity falsely assigned to a narrow spectrum of the Infinite Self. As you feel more deeply beneath the “dream” of limitation, the experience of ascension, the bliss consciousness,  will become more and more established in the day-to-day existence.

You are all “Angels” drinking in the subtleties of each moment. The dimensional shift happens from moment to moment and it is not so much a transformation of consciousness as it is a remembrance of who you are and what you have always been: Infinite Spirit that has allowed itself to be lost for awhile in the worldly dream.

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Creativity – a Frequency of Love

Immerse yourself in the waters of Creativity that flows smoothly and powerfully. There is no stopping the river! It flows eternally and effortlessly. Once you step into the realms of deep mystery, the energy and resonance of its song will carry you along on its currents. Just write quickly, without stopping to question whether or not what is expressed is good or bad. Do not hold back in your creativity. The idea is to get the momentum going and then step aside to allow the Higher Self to express freely. In this way, Beauty is unleashed to reveal its secrets through your writings and drawings. It is a way to bypass the mind that wishes to evaluate and judge everything before giving voice or expression.

Artwork by Bruce Manaka

Allow, relax and then open up to deeper and deeper levels of Spirit. There is then no stopping the flow of this beautiful river, no boundary to your creative endeavors. Go deep quickly and express freely without fear or limitation. The field of Love then expands in all directions.

The heart speaks and communicates through the language of intuition. As you gaze across the landscape of your feelings, you receive impulses regarding any question or desire you may have. Listen to and feel deeply for the answers that well up in the energetic field that you are immersed in. Feel the finest vibrations of the subtle voice. You are a Creator, a vast field of Consciousness that is connected to Source Energy.

Understand that the vibratory field of the body is infinite and connected seamlessly with all Creation. The belief of the body as limited and separate is a play of Spirit enjoying itself through the countless creations that it has given life and individuality to. We have forgotten our eternal connection with the Divine and dream that we are limited beings stuck upon a world that requires struggle and fight for survival.

Spirit is asking for a release of the tight grasp that you have upon the narrow vibratory realm of the three dimensional world. The heart is calling for the letting go of the rigid bundle of beliefs that you hold onto regarding what is possible. Step now into the wider home of omnipresence and offer into the fires of wisdom all stories of limitation!

What amazing dimensions can be explored and enjoyed! Feel, relax, breathe in deeply the energies of Spirit. You have access to all dimensions and can learn from the Masters of all realms. As you tap into the resonance of Being, you can dive into any ocean of the Infinite. What sacred mystery do you wish to explore? What frequency of Love do you wish to experience?

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Awakening to the Medicine Wheel of Your Own Power

You are awakening to the medicine wheel of your own power and no longer need the lessons of stagnation and feeling stuck to get you to move forward. Move ahead with confidence towards the dreams you have and shake the world with your knowing! The heart is opening up to reveal the gifts you have been born with; and there is a growing sense of clarity and direction as you walk the path you are meant to travel.

The World is in need of individuals stepping more and more into their own light. Do your part to help. The unfoldment happens as a manifestation of intentions and not from a position of fear. Isn’t it interesting that you cannot now see the details of all the changes that are ahead of you in the months ahead, but all will unfold in its own time as you tune yourself to the voice of wisdom and as you learn to harness the resonant fields of sound and vibration to manifest your dreams. As you increase the power and frequency of your own vibration, you can help the relative vibration of any environment you choose to be in. Send your intentions out on energetic waves of intention, on waves of harmonics!

You are ready to understand the mysteries of both darkness and light. The path is opening up. Drop all stubborn attachments to what is considered “real” and “unreal.” When veils are lifted, the life you live and move in will seem no more than a dream.

The connections you have with the present existence is mostly through mind and senses. As you drop the veils and attachments to mind and mind fluff, worlds upon worlds open up to you; and as you peer into the inner landscape, you will find patterns in the “external” waking consciousness reflecting more and more the patterns that swirl within. The spiral and circle of the great Medicine Wheel then comes to awaken and release the long-restricted “Beast” of freedom and creativity!

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Surviving the Meltdown – Conspiracy of Time

Global catastrophes, economic meltdowns, health pandemics, World War III, etc., etc. are ominous threats that seem to loom just on the horizon, all adding to the dreaded fear that many people feel so very closely at this time. Surviving the meltdown is part of the zeitgeist of this particular era as we move closer to 2012 (as can be witnessed by the many websites and books that address this topic of survival). And yet there is also a feeling held by a growing number of individuals throughout the world that much of the upheaval is part of the birthing process of a New Consciousness, a frequency shift in our evolution as Co-Creators moving towards higher dimensions of Being.

The following post with Higher Self addresses the “Zeitgeist,” or spirit of the times. It also speaks of the dream nature of time itself.

Changes are happening quickly on the macro as well as the micro levels. Old belief systems that no longer serve you, both spiritual and secular, are crumbling–as they must–in order for the souls living during this time to progress beyond the hypnotic spell cast upon humanity asleep in the illusions of time and caught in the narrow dimensions of ego identity.

As fearful egos lost in the maelstrom of time, there seems to be no end to the ongoing nightmare of suffering, and yet a Great Awakening is upon the world as individuals begin to shake in resonance with the Divine Song that calls all souls to awaken to and remember their unique gifts of Love. Souls are casting aside as never before the shackles and straightjackets of narrow bigotry fostered through the generations by hearts corrupted by greed and soulless attachments to power and money.

Those who choose to remain asleep, who will not release attachments to the nightmare will remain in that realm of dark struggle until they are ready to move forward.

The you of worldly dimension lives in the realm where time is so powerful that it induces ways of thinking and acting in the world that is limiting and constraining. As you begin to live more and more naturally in the consciousness of Now, you will come to experience the world of time as just one dimension of your existence within the infinitely wider sphere of the Higher Self, beyond time and physical constraints.

Move and dance, write and draw; going from word to word, movement to movement, feeling to feeling without stopping the flow of awareness. As you lessen your desire to tightly control and mentally edit, the awareness will expand and merge into the vast backdrop of your True Nature. In this dimension of Being, there is no grappling or fighting with Self. It is all part of the larger “Dance of Creation.” It is all part of the Divine Song of the Cosmic River that flows effortlessly towards the Ocean of Freedom!

Enjoy and allow yourselves to remain in this state for as long as you wish. There is then no stopping the flow of what wishes to express. Stay in this place of deep wonderment and mystery, expanding and allowing the awareness to merge with the creative energy that swirls within and all around you.

No matter what you do in the world, the call of your Soul will ever beckon you to walk in alignment with your Authentic Self, which is a unique expression of the gifts you were born to express in Life.

The world of time exists in a consciousness that is fragmented and narrow. It supposes limitation and linear movement of energy and constraints of cause and effect. The body and consciousness appear to be confined solely to this plane of existence only when the awareness has bought completely into its illusion and attaches to it as being the only “reality.” When the Soul begins to awaken even a little, the consciousness begins to understand its Self within a wider spectrum of “realities” that include and yet is not limited by narrow constraints of time and space. It is then able to act and respond to certain “crises” in the worldly arena without succumbing to the fears and very “real” events that take place with regularity on the earthly plane.

There are so many levels to the worldly dream…the narrow identity to body and place in time is but a dream dimension that is ongoing and repetitive. Caught in the energy loop of the recurring nightmare of suffering, this is the entanglement that the billions of souls struggle with on this particular planet. And yet the entanglement is not a web made from steel. They are, rather, made from the gossamer strands of belief forms humankind has clung to through countless generations: “fight or be killed; win at all costs; amass a fortune to be happy; only the strong survive…” And the structures of fear built around these beliefs continue to condemn humanity to ones of violence and wars.

And yet, is there true safety in the world? The body will pass on sooner or later, as it must, in order for the soul to learn the many lessons offered in the dimensions of time and space. However, the observable world of disease, suffering, wars and death also contains the experiences of Love, joy, happiness and peace. The world may be shaking with violence and wars, and yet the choice to live in the dimension of Love is the true shelter. Its power is not less strong than the barbs of anger and bigotry; of missiles and bombs. It is just that humanity as a whole has not learned to harness its powers as an answer to the recurring nightmare of wars.

Enter the Great Stillness, the Great Love, and feel the vibrations within. The Cosmic Music plays on and on, in ever-changing beauty and grace. From moment to moment, the energy moves to express and create. If you allow yourselves to calmly observe and to deeply feel, the energy gathers momentum and power as there will be no constriction or tightness around it. It will be like waking up from a deep sleep, sloughing off the dusty veils that have kept the mind in one place and in one way of thinking. The environment then takes on a clarity and brightness, as though lit from within by a gentle light of protection.

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Celibacy – Path to Bliss or Madness?

The following post is taken from my response to a young person interested in practicing celibacy as a way to cultivate spirituality:

…The whole idea of celibacy made sense to my mind: conserve the vital essence and transmute “lower desires” into higher “spiritual perceptions”;  do not waste or dissipate the sex energy as it is a strain and hindrance in cultivating the spirit.

Ok, what am I getting at?…The constant fight and discipline year after year was exhausting me physically and tweaking me mentally. Even though I could sit for hours on end and once in awhile experience the most sublime out of body states, I came to realize that the constant fight would ensure my ultimate separation from the very Source I prayed and fought for. I was fighting the very energy (sex) that was needed to feel deeply alive and aware. I found that the more I was able to kill the sex instinct, the more dead I felt on the inside…and my body started to fall apart. I was getting sick for longer and longer periods.

It’s kind of interesting to note the corner I painted myself into. It seems that the world loves and reveres the monk or nun who “gives up the world” for a “higher calling.” And it’s so easy to fall into the trap of feeling special, that somehow you’re doing something “selfless” and beyond the scope of the rest of the world, that achieving the highest spirituality somehow required a separation from the world. In fact the world and worldly pastimes (especially sex) was a sort of enemy—one to be denied and fought. And the ones who fought the hardest were the ones most revered, even if the battle left physical and mental scars.

It was quite a cosmic set-up. Devotees of the church revered the sanyasis, the senior monks and nuns of the order. Of course they revered the ideal that we represented, but it was a little too easy to go along with the unspoken charade of being somehow separate and higher than the rest of the world. A seductive kind of spiritual arrogance would creep in. Try as one might to remain humble and to be authentic and real, the power of group-think and the tidal pull of living in close community with those who thought along the same lines made it difficult to think and act differently. In other words, the voice of the community and the role of monastic would more often than not overshadow and overpower the voice of my own heart, which was sublimated to such a degree that I came to consider body, mind and even my heart as a kind of enemy, something not to be trusted.

The idea of “transmutation,” the raising of the kundalini to sublimate sexual desire was a nice sounding principle that meant nothing to me in practice. You see, I started from the premise that sex was something that got in the way of spirituality and that it was a “waste” of vital essence, that it was something to “transmute,” that higher spiritual perceptions occur only when the sex desire is let go of. This starting point would hardly allow for the transmutation of sex desire, as I was not able to transmute that which I did not wish to fully look at or embrace within myself.

I chopped myself into pieces: Higher Self vs. lower self, sex desire vs. spiritual desire, ego vs. soul, etc. etc…This very separation of self and Higher Self was also the backdrop of my prayer for oneness with God, and in my own fragmented consciousness, I relegated God to an impossible future: “If I try harder, if I’m chaste enough, if I’m good enough and strong enough…maybe then I will find oneness with God.” That inner schism between my “weak” and “faulty” self and with the God Ideal was tweaking me mentally to no end!

Fast-forward 19 years. When I left the ashram, it was with the thought from some in the community that I gave up, that I did not try hard enough, that somehow I was caught by delusion. It was part of a belief system that was extremely difficult to dislodge from. However, I finally came to the understanding that I needed to just be, sex desire and all… to embrace rather than to fight the energies of my humanness. Was it delusion on my part? Maybe, but I knew that the ultimate surrender would begin by learning little by little to trust the voice of my own heart, and not the loud voices shouting “failure” and “fallen one” from the outside.

During that difficult period, I felt a need for a major housecleaning: I threw out all of my holy relics and sacred scriptures! I felt a need to toss it all: the baby along with the bathwater! It was not from desperation, but rather from an inner knowing that it was ok to let the whole superstructure of my spiritual belief system to collapse, along with all the assumptions, props and mythologies built up around the lives of the holy saints, the gurus, sannyasis, etc. I felt that the voice that called me to the ashram was now calling me to enter another phase of learning, one that called for a greater trust in what my heart was saying.

Now about celibacy…this is my opinion: What belief system do you wish to build up around it? Do you wish to believe the rishis and gurus who apparently develop great powers through the mastery of brahmacharya? Or do you subscribe to the present medical model that says there is no harm in losing the sex fluid? In my experience, yeah, it’s great to abstain for long periods, and yeah, it’s also fabulous to indulge. Why make either way such a big deal? In my opinion…it comes down to just being aware from moment to moment. If you wish to have sex, do so with all your awareness and being. If you wish to practice celibacy, do so with all your awareness and being. If you wish it to be a fight, do so with awareness and being.

In the ashram, some of the monks who seemed to be most disciplined could also be the most emotionally disconnected and harsh. This is not to say there were not some wonderful and loving individuals there. I have also met some deeply spiritual and powerfully loving householders, people who have the responsibilities of raising a family. I bow my head to those who have been able to achieve such balance in their lives while caring for family.

The belief systems we build up around spirituality and the saints can be just as much a trap as can be in losing ourselves in the day-to-day dramas of “worldly living,” sexual overindulgence, relationship problems, etc. Again, I think it comes down to connecting with the lessons that are here for us when we just allow ourselves to be available to where we are in the sacred moment.

It sounds so simple…and I think it really is. But the mind seems to want to complicate things, to idealize the saints and gurus, to build huge edifices of stone and scriptures. I think it’s fine in the beginning, in fact maybe it’s necessary as a way to develop some kind of spiritual routine…And for me it took me almost two decades to get to a point of understanding the fundamental simplicity of the spiritual path…I’m a slow learner. It’s something that a 5 year old can understand. But the practice of moment to moment awareness is fought by the mind because it wants to make the path to God the most arduous, where only the saints and renunciants abide.

…I could be wrong about the whole thing, and I only have my heart to filter all the experiences garnered over a lifetime. But I think that is all that anyone has. We can mentally process, but the heart will ultimately filter it all. If we cannot trust our hearts, where are we?

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