Category Archives: Watching the breath

The Paradox of Subtlety—When Kundalini Comes Like a “Thief in the Night” Part V

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When feeling into the “overall resonance” of the body, you might notice feeling a fine underlying vibration/sensation that can be tracked to deeper and deeper levels and that is refined to a most subtle “activating center.”

For me, this “activating center” is felt between the shoulder blades. It is “activating” in the sense that it seems to have a kind of push/pull play (like a magnet) of forces that creates a dance-like dynamic…between tension and relaxation, stillness and movement.

Another way of explaining this: if you observe the incoming breath, along with all the muscles involved with breathing in, you will feel a certain amount of tension, with a very subtle “lifting up” sensation. With the outgoing breath, you might feel a relaxation of tension, along with a “down-flow” of sensation.

Normally we do not pay much attention to the subtleties of the incoming and outgoing breath, but what I’m suggesting here in these posts is that, when you allow yourselves to explore the inner landscape of finer and finer sensations/vibrations, you will begin to also notice extremely nuanced forces at play in the body, especially in the the spine.

As you become familiar with these forces, you will also notice how the body will automatically, spontaneously adjust in most delicate micro-movements and ultimately in dance-like movements that allows for the greater expansion and flow of the Life Force, Kundalini.

This is all a play and dance of Kundalini, the activated primal life force in the spine. When connected with these subtle (and at times not-so-subtle) forces, you will have a very different perspective with your body, breath, life force, mind, Self and Nature…a perspective that experiences these things as waves of fine vibrations/sensations, connected with the underlying resonance or Hum of Creation!

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Connecting With the Bliss Resonance, Part V

Learning to access deep states of meditative trance is not difficult when you allow yourselves to simply feel the overall resonance of the body…with the intention to follow sensations to deeper and deeper subtlety.

The initial states of meditative trance bring a noticeable slowing down of thoughts, relaxation of body and a magnetic-like inward pull of attention to what feels like the central core of the body.

You may also begin to notice a pleasant, “feel-good” sensation building up in the spine, along with a spontaneously-occurring uplift of the eyes in their sockets. The “uplift” feeling also happens in the spine.

As you gain greater facility with feeling into and surrendering to these subtle sensations, you will find your mind/consciousness going into one-pointed focus, as the growing Bliss Resonance fills the entire experience of Being!

The feeling of the Bliss Resonance begins as a most subtle “feel-good” sensation that seems to vibrate delicately in the spine. This too, is not difficult to experience…it just requires a setting aside of any resistance to vibrations that are slightly below the surface of familiar and seemingly insignificant sensations.

When going into meditative trance, you will notice the eyes naturally lifting upwards…along with a spontaneous uplift of the spine. This “uplift” energy has a feel-good sensation connected with it.

How to connect with this “feel-good” sensation? There are many ways, but one that I suggest is this: take a deep breath…exhale, relax…and then keep the breath out until you begin to feel the need to breathe in again. However, for purposes of this exercise, keep the breath out slightly longer…feel a subtle giddiness arise…and then breathe in deeply, exhale and tune into the subtle “feel-good” sensation that accompanies the satisfying of the need for breath.

For as long as you can, focus upon the subtle, pleasant feeling that comes with the satisfying of the need for breath. A deeper connection with this feeling is developed as you follow it to its source.

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Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part V

What is felt when tuning into “subtle vibrations” in the body? Initially you want to feel the overall sensation of all that you experience in the moment. For example, take a deep breath, exhale and feel into the fine, relaxed sensation that occurs upon exhalation.

It is helpful to keep the eyes still, calm, unmoving. You will find that keeping the eyes still and relaxed is conducive to a relaxed body and focused mind. This practice in itself is worthy of deep exploration, as you will discover how, by just gently keeping the eyes still, the mind comes to a point of focus.

There is an important point to consider in this “play” with the subtle sensations of the eyes. When focusing your attention at the point between the eyebrows…or even when having the intention to relax and keep the eyes still, you may find it nearly impossible to keep the eyes still…if you are using too much will to do so.

For myself, I had to play a long time with this to find the “sweet spot” where I could keep the eyes fairly still without giving myself a headache. I found that if I used too much will/intention to lock the eyes into place (keeping them still), the area around the eyes (crown area) would get very uncomfortable.

However, when I found the right balance of will/intention and relaxation, the eyes would naturally come to a point of stillness, along with a naturally occurring uplift of the eyes.

This is a very subtle point, because many meditation techniques suggest keeping the eyes focused at the point between the eyebrows, without explaining that when the attention is tuned with the subtle energies in the body/spine, the eyes will naturally and automatically rise by themselves.

Now, when tuning into the overall sensation of the deep breath and exhalation, the next “step” is to feel just slightly deeper into what I simply think of as the “feel good” sensations that percolate in and around the sensations of relaxation.

These “feel good” sensations can easily be tuned into, but also easily dismissed…because they are so very subtle. The mind seeks the big experience: Satori! Enlightenment!…or at least what it believe these experiences are and what they require for their attainment.

For want of feeling into what is so readily available to us in the moment (the subtle sensations of the body), we remain forever isolated from the vastness that lies just below what we are already feeling!

Approach the process in this way: take a deep breath and exhale…relax and feel. This is all familiar, but if you feel slightly deeper, you may feel a kind of gentle vibration or background “hum” of the body…also familiar.

Go slightly deeper in feeling, with intention to explore sensations that you may not have considered much at all before. At first, you may notice superficial physical sensations such as intestinal gurgling, heartbeat, itchiness, etc.

However, with your intention to go “slightly deeper,” you may discover a very different perspective on familiar sensations…which opens the “field” of your awareness to the vibrations/sensations just below the familiar.

Little by little you will experience and come to understand that sensations are not isolated…one sensation is connected to a “field” of other, more subtle ones. Each sensation, then, can be thought of and used as a connecting piece, a pathway to deeper and deeper levels of subtle awareness.

When you truly “get” and viscerally experience the dynamics of following sensations to subtlety, you will experience yourself as a “field” of infinitely nuanced vibrations, a resonance of Being!

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Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part IV

Feeling subtle sensations in the body is not difficult. The suggestion here, in order to go deeper in meditation, is to initially feel just slightly below the surface of what you normally feel in the moment. Just one layer at a time. No big leap required! No superhuman feat of discipline needed!

Whatever vibration/sensation that you feel in the moment is fine. It is helpful to have the intention to feel the overall sensation of the body…and to feel slightly deeper with calm “noticing.”

In just noticing the overall sensation of the body, the intention to feel slightly deeper will activate the awareness of the wider “field” of vibrations…sensations that you may not have apprehended previously.

Again, this is not a difficult process. it just requires a willingness to explore the inner landscape of vibrations and to continue just long enough to the point that you are able to apprehend the “slightly” wider field of sensations.

This seemingly “small” incremental step in noticing, is in reality a monumental moment…if you truly “get” the “doorway” that you’ve just created! In allowing yourself to go just below the surface of what you feel in the moment, you’ve created an entryway, a doorway to continue on to finer and finer realms of subtle vibrations!

The dance has begun! Little by little, in feeling subtle sensations/vibrations, you will begin to apprehend the very fine “currents” moving through the spine, body and “sacred space” of all that you feel/experience!

You will have then established a very different relationship and understanding of your “Life Force,” as well as with your sense of “Self.” Your connection with subtlety will become more and more like a dance, a push/pull/play of exquisite sensations moving through the spine and rest of the body!

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Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditations, Part III

Using will and intention to focus the attention to one-point may have less than satisfactory results, especially if using the mind to focus the mind. I have found that incorporating the feeling/sensation aspect of the body is crucial in “holding” the mind in place.

Oftentimes, our notions about the “focused mind” is very different from the actual visceral experience of the focused mind. There is a sensation/feeling involved…and the feeling is like an energetic “grid” that holds/focuses the mind.

In normal waking consciousness, we focus upon our day-to-day duties and responsibilities and more often than not “float” around with little awareness when not involved in work or duties. The mind defaults to habitual patterns, engaging in what we “like” and moving away from what we do not like.

Sometimes we get “pulled” towards all manner of distractions and desires, losing endless hours, days…lifetimes, unmindful of all the forces, subtle and not-so-subtle at play in our lives!

When mindfully feeling into subtlety, the direction of focus is inwards, to the overall resonance of all that we feel in the moment. Initially the mind will think/say, “So what! Big deal!”

Now, for want of allowing ourselves to go a little below the surface of habitual, familiar patterns of thinking and feeling, we remain disconnected from unexplored realms of breathtaking beauty…

Even when we have an intention to connect with subtlety, even when we have a meditation practice, the mind can remain a formidable gate keeper, preventing us from entering the depths of meditation.

In my experience, even with years and years of regular and long practice of meditation, I found the Divine Subtlety elusive. I had a particular meditation technique and routine that I did my best to follow…but found that I reached a plateau. I found that my mind would inevitably wander into subconscious memories, distractions, sleep, etc.

What happened? Well, in my “practice” of meditation technique, I would keep my body in meditation posture and then practice technique, which called for focusing on certain “currents” in the spine, while inwardly observing the incoming and outgoing breaths.

As mentioned, for the life of me, I could not seem to get beyond a certain depth in my meditations. It wasn’t until leaving the ashram and releasing the tight hold that I had on meditation practice that I came to feel the very fine currents in the spine.

In the ashram, I was practicing technique, but was not allowing myself to feel the very subtle push/pull/play of the “life force” moving delicately in the body and especially in the spine.

What I mean by this is that in holding my body in certain meditation posture, using will to keep it still, I was not tuning into, feeling the subtle play of energies (life force) at play in maintaining the erect posture.

I was also not feeling into the subtle sensations of the incoming and outgoing breaths. In my deep release of the ashram, along with my rigid attachments to meditation techniques, I found the life force automatically adjusting and moving the body in “micro-movements.”

Meditation then became a dance of exquisitely fine sensations, moving so very delicately in the spine, holding the body/mind/psyche as though electrified!

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Dance of Micromovements, Elixir of Bliss Part III

When feeling into subtlety, there are no insignificant sensations. Whatever feeling you focus upon can be used as an entryway to deeper and deeper levels of nuanced awareness. Choose any sensation…tingling in the hands or feet, giddiness in the pit of the stomach, pain in the shoulders, sensations of the incoming and outgoing breath, etc.

The idea here is to focus inwardly on the overall sensation of whatever you tune into. This can also be done with emotions: anger, sadness, loneliness, etc. With any emotion there is a corresponding sensation/vibration that can be tracked in the body.

As you focus on sensations, at some point you may find an expansion of awareness that includes an underlying vibration (like a hum or buzzing) that, in the beginning, is relaxing and somewhat hypnotic.

It is at this stage that the mind and thought processes are settling down and you may experience short periods of detached noticing, as well as periods of “no-thought.” When done with deep focus, this is by no means a “ho-hum” or boring experience, but rather one that imparts a sense of enchantment and even exaltation.

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Creative Work – Tapping into the Field

I get some of my most creative work done while sitting at a local coffee shop with a cup of organic Peruvian blend and a croissant. There’s something about the ambiance…the aromas, music in the background, the quiet coming and going of people…it’s like white noise that helps to bring out the muse. There just seems to be a lot of energy in the air that I can tap into.

On the other hand, trying to do creative work in a library does not work for me. I start to feel a little closed in, perhaps by the walls of books that seem to loom over my shoulders, reminding me of teachers in my younger days that shushed me for being too noisy.

Ah, but give me a journal and pen and plop me down in a funky little coffee shop, and I can spend many happy hours immersed in the creative ocean. It is quite satisfying and seems to activate certain bodily energies that want to express on paper. It is a wonderful antidote for moods and opens up the energetic field that allows Love’s vibration to flow unimpeded.

When connected to the current of creativity, there is no impediment to what you can dream and create. In the flow of these energies, the problems and concerns of 3d existence are felt dispassionately, with little commitment of emotional energy. In the deeper states of immersion with the blissful vibrations, the mind and body assumes certain postures and focus of mind. You become all feeling and Being, following the most subtle threads of Bliss energy to its Source.

Your work is to follow and pay attention to the energetic cues as they move in the Field of Consciousness. It is most delectable, most sublime, a vastly different perspective of awareness than what is offered by the linear, logical mind.

Create everyday! Not just from the intellect, but from the subtle vibrations of a heart that is connected with the Divine flow of what moves within. It is not difficult! Just breathe and feel! Release and allow the child of the heart to dance in the field of wonderment that surrounds and enfolds us at all times! If there is any heaviness or dark mood, allow yourselves to feel the “structure” or “geometry” of any tightness or pain associated with it in the body and then give deep permission to move and breathe, dance and tone in ways that helps to “evolve” your relationship with it.

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Kundalini Activation – What are the Dangers?

There seems to be quite a bit of concern regarding Kundalini activation in the body. Individuals ask if it can be dangerous if awakened abruptly or before the body and mind are prepared. I can only speak from my own experience. For me, the sensations in the spine came on very gently for me…so gently that I was not able to associate anything with it. It seemed strangely familiar, and quite pleasureable, but I did not know how to maintain it. I felt like I was walking on air for a couple of weeks or so…until it went away…for years.

Fast-forward many years later, never forgetting the experience and wistfully thinking that a door that had once opened itself to me was now impossibly shut. However, to my great joy and for reasons I will not get into quite yet, the sensations returned. This time around, I was able to follow and feel the intensity of the vibrations back to the spine. Oh…my…God! Again, the feelings began very gently, but then built up into a crescendo of convulsive contortions of the body accompanied by hissing breaths…and yet with unimaginable sensations of pleasure and bliss!

Getting back to the question regarding whether or not Kundalini activations can be dangerous… Well, I believe there can be a danger if the body is not physically healthy and pliable, because the amount of energy going through it is quite high. It would be like having a body that is fit for 100 watts, but 1000 watts of power is trying to surge through. I also believe it important to have emotional baggage cleared out, because stagnant or stuck energy in the body can be quite painful when the energy surge finds any type of blockage.

The energy has its own wisdom, and especially when Kundalini moves through the body, it knows what to do, taking up certain postures and breathing patterns without our having to direct its flow. It is very much like a serpent spirit in the body, moving and undulating, twisting and squeezing…

Oh, and something else to consider… I believe I missed Her (Kundalini) for years because of her subtle, in-the-background presence, like white noise that I paid little attention too. Something that might help: pay attention to the finest sensation that you can feel in the spine and allow the breath to build up the sensation. Allow the body to assume whatever position it needs to, to magnify the feelings in the spine. The breath and body posture is not something that you think about, it just happens.

Hope this helps. Also, the visual for me regarding what is happening in the spine is that of a microscopic thread of pleasurable vibration that is being pulled through the spinal cord while the body naturally assumes certain “locks” or positions. This is a way of literally “following your bliss.”

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Creativity – Holding the Vision of What You Want

Hold the vision of what you want and feel the energy of its creation. Understand that what is felt with powerful focus will be created. This is the Law. Breathe in Beauty! Bask and luxuriate in the blissful resonance of the energetic field being created within and all around. With intention and focus, vibrate your vision into the realm of creation. Draw, write, sing and dance all beautiful dreams into manifestation! You are so close! Understand that what you have sought for lifetimes is already with you. It is just a matter of opening up to the gifts that have been yours since the beginning.

The energy is strong and creativity flows easily and smoothly whilst relaxing into the blissful field. Love is calling you to plumb the depths. Observe, relax and release! The “You” of name and human form will be experienced dispassionately as a wave of Spirit, connected with the Cosmic Ocean. Each breath will then be a constant reminder, an eternal pulsation of the Infinite Connection. Breathe deeply and feel! It will be as though you have awakened from a deep sleep and all things will seem different and yet familiar.

Spirit is awakening and expressing through the body. It is spreading its wings of light through every nerve and cell. That energy is blissful, overwhelmingly powerful as it moves wave after wave through the body. Allow it to dance and express. Bask in the delectable moment that is Infinite Beauty and Joy! And then go deeper still. This is your work! Take care of your responsibilities, but understand that your main focus and work is with Spirit. Expansion of the heart will then happen naturally as you relax and allow the powerful Spirit to move within.

Beauty is unfolding and spreading its wings of light. Receive that you have the power and understanding to manage the ebb and flow of its Divine Song!

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Exercise in Mindfulness – Dimensions in Stillness and Subtlety

For those of you who have gotten your arses kicked and dragged up and down Life’s thoroughfares (probably all of you, to one degree or another), the following post is Higher Self’s response to questions about learning how to deal with the mind that gets so caught up in distractions and habits of fears and doubts. This post speaks to issues of mindfulness along with some exercises that help to develop sensitivity to and awareness of subtlety and stillness.

Our shaking you up is never meant to frighten or harm you. On the contrary, we only wish to awaken you to your own power and light. The deeper your slumber, the harder we sometimes need to shake. The energy patterns of your consciousness have ossified into certain ways of thinking and believing that have become narrow and limiting. We are here to help change the patterns of thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve you. Please understand that there are other dimensions of consciousness that are far more in line with the gifts and talents you are meant to express in life. We want to awaken you once and for all time!

The momentum of your thoughts have been going down certain pathways for so long that it is difficult for you to switch tracks, or to rather do away with the limitations of tracks altogether. Learn to release the patterns of thinking that push you down alleys of narrowness. Break out of the straight jacket of small thinking! Awaken now and breathe in your own power. Believe in and receive the gifts of Freedom! If you continue seeking in narrow avenues of what you believe is required for survival in the world, then you cut yourself off from the infinite resources and powers that are available. Stop force-fitting yourself into work that does not make use of your gifts and that only perpetuates the nightmare of separation and delusion.

Ok, Ok, I know I’m to make use of my strengths and talents, to create from the depths of my soul! The challenge is in not getting stuck, in moving forward while being receptive to the voice of Spirit. But once again, I seem to fall back into patterns of doing work that serves only the task of helping to pay the bills but which do not serve the wider purpose of expanding beyond the small shell of limited thinking…I want to express the gifts of the heart that wish to be given birth in the world! What is going on with this? I’m listening and creating, but somehow I’m not getting the message clearly about manifesting.

The answers are with you now in the very environment. You are getting in your own way! The logical mind wants to continue making sense of the world. This is fine and necessary to a certain degree, but you can also allow it to rest as you become aware of the more subtle layers of consciousness that can bring forth the very atoms of creation to manifest for you! You won’t lose your mind or balance!

Listen and feel for what is behind the thoughts. There is so much that is there, but it gets lost in the busy-ness of mental thought forms and “chatter” that dictate how you are to act, think and survive in the world. Don’t get sidetracked or distracted while partaking in the dance of “making a living.” So much more is available in the realms of Consciousness. There is unimaginable power in calm awareness! Allow yourself access to this energy and just watch how quickly circumstances change!

As your body and thoughts slow down, and as you continue to just observe the rise and fall of the breath, a wider experience of your Self comes into the awareness, a Self that is unencumbered by the restraints of time and bodily limitations. In the consciousness of Self, the wider perspective allows for a broader sense of the energy field that you are. The energy does not get stuck or stagnant and can be used to propel your intentions and dreams forward.

Allow yourself to experience the fullness of breath and the vastness of a consciousness that is not limited or attached to one place or object of thought. Wherever you are, just observe the thoughts with eyes closed or open; it does not matter. Calmly allow them to be released without attaching yourself or creating further “stories” around them. Feel the vastness of a consciousness that is calm and at peace.

Calm awareness is not a state of mindlessness; and neither is it a state of boredom. It is, rather, a state of absorption in the field of mindfulness that is connected intimately with the consciousness of the Great Spirit, beyond the narrow perceptions and distractions of bodily attachments.

Sit quietly and observe. Feel the vibrations of thoughts and feelings as they play across the screen of awareness. Take note of how thoughts come and go and allow them to do so without struggling or fighting to keep them at bay. Feel the backdrop of consciousness wherein thoughts seem to rise and fall. In apprehending subtlety, intimations of the Eternal Observer can be felt!

The above exercise in mindfulness is a play of stillness, a dance of the most subtle awareness, wherein you, the observer, begin to apprehend the Grand Observer behind the curtain of consciousness. It is a wide embrace of the cosmic identity that holds the entire Universe in its folds of Divine Love!

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