Category Archives: mind

Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part IX

What do I mean by “meditative swoon?” It is a visceral experience that occurs when the mind feels deeply into the overall sensation/vibration of the body. As the mind continues following subtle vibrations, at some point there arises in the awareness a “feel-good” sensation.

At first, this “feel-good” sensation is very subtle, but as you continue in your meditations to connect with subtlety, the uplifting feelings get stronger and more distinct.

The mind and body then go into a “swoon” as it “locks” into the fine and blissful vibrations that seem to bubble up from the depths of the spine. As you get more and more familiar with the the sensations involved when going into meditative swoon, you will learn to extend the duration of the experience. You will also learn how to follow the lead of the fine dynamics at play in the spine and body.

When connected with the “feel-good” sensation in the spine, notice how the body takes up and holds certain postures and focuses the mind upon fine sensations that feel as if a kind of taffy is being pulled to finer and finer strands of scintillating vibrations.

These fine “threads” of vibrations draws the body/mind/psyche into meditative swoon/trance, into the inward flowing current of Life Force, which then contorts the body into various positions while also activating it to move dance-like, in resonance with the river of the Bliss Vibration!

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Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part VIII

Focusing of mind seems to happen quite naturally and fairly easily when the attention is placed on the overall sensation of the body, with the intention to feel into finer and finer vibrations.

This is such a simple approach to take in meditation and any resistance of mind to explore this avenue is in not allowing ourselves to feel just below the surface of what we feel…and then going slightly deeper.

We get stuck at the beginning, for want of feeling in the moment! The mind wants to bypass all that is felt in the moment and go all the way to “enlightenment,” “satori”…without fully being present in the moment!

It seems that the mind is not so interested in being in the moment, in the now. Mind is always in movement with desires, expectations, likes, dislikes, etc., and of course resists having itself “straight-jacketed” to the “unmoving” moment!

Now, sensations can only be felt in the moment… and following subtle sensations has a way of “gripping” the mind in the inward flowing current that seems to get progressively stronger the deeper we feel into subtlety.

The “inward flowing current” is the growing energy of the “contortion” that feels like a squeezing of sweetness in the spine. The feeling of sweetness naturally and automatically focuses the mind, putting it into meditative swoon. The visceral experience of meditative swoon allows a very different perspective of the mind…and how it is much easier to focus mind by tuning into the subtle sensations/vibrations of the primal and naturally occurring Bliss Resonance.

Another perspective is an understanding of how difficult it is to focus the mind by using only the mind, disengaged from the body and life force. For me, being in the moment is the distillation and refinement of all that we feel…and brought to an energetic balance point (of essence), as though on a tip of a needle!

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Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part VII

A way to focus mind quickly in meditation is to “quickly feel deeply.” The feeling experience, especially if the intention is to connect with subtlety, has a way of neutralizing the mind’s habitual patterns of engaging with distractions.

When connecting with the “threads” of subtle sensations, the feelings of expansion (however slight), has a way of holding the mind, as though “squeezed” in an energetic matrix of uplifting sensations.

These “uplifting” sensations are not only expansive in feel, but are also innately blissful, which, when deep enough, spontaneously “contorts” the body. It is the energy of this contortion that holds the mind in place.

Again, it is important to “go deep quickly,” before the mind is given time to engage with distractions. When going deep quickly, tune into the sensation of the contortion and notice the shifts in mind, taking particular note of how it is possible to not only calm the mind, but to also stop the incessant thinking for moments at a time.

The important point here is that the mind can be naturally focused, or brought to a point of “no-thought” as you feel deeper and deeper into the subtle sensations of the body.

It is in tuning into the subtle sensations of what you feel, that at a certain point an expansive feeling of uplift occurs, perhaps along with feelings of giddiness. However, this inward focus on finer and finer vibrations at some point reveals a kind of underground, cavernous rumblings of a deeper and wider vibration. This is the Bliss Resonance…and this is what seems to trigger the contortion response in the body.

Notice that any feeling, no matter how seemingly insignificant, when tuned deeply into, inverts the usual direction of mind, from outward focus, to inward focus. Focusing on subtlety creates a kind of gravitational pull of the mind, that pulls the mind into the current and momentum of the inward flow.

When but once you make this connection with the inward flowing current, you can explore any sensation of posture or “micro-movement.” Also, you can take any song that moves you, or sound in Nature. Feel into the finest rays and reverberations that dance upon the field of body and mind.

By focusing quickly on the inward flowing currents of subtle sensations, the default patterns of restless mind can be redirected…away from surface distractions.

With continued practice of going deep quickly and focusing on ever-deepening subtle sensations, you will get more and more familiar with certain inner focal points of postures and micro-movements…that can be latched onto for longer and longer periods.

These postures and micro-movements are spontaneous expressions of how the Life Force wishes to move and “take shape” in the body. Our part during these outpourings is to allow the Life Force to take the lead.

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Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part V

What is felt when tuning into “subtle vibrations” in the body? Initially you want to feel the overall sensation of all that you experience in the moment. For example, take a deep breath, exhale and feel into the fine, relaxed sensation that occurs upon exhalation.

It is helpful to keep the eyes still, calm, unmoving. You will find that keeping the eyes still and relaxed is conducive to a relaxed body and focused mind. This practice in itself is worthy of deep exploration, as you will discover how, by just gently keeping the eyes still, the mind comes to a point of focus.

There is an important point to consider in this “play” with the subtle sensations of the eyes. When focusing your attention at the point between the eyebrows…or even when having the intention to relax and keep the eyes still, you may find it nearly impossible to keep the eyes still…if you are using too much will to do so.

For myself, I had to play a long time with this to find the “sweet spot” where I could keep the eyes fairly still without giving myself a headache. I found that if I used too much will/intention to lock the eyes into place (keeping them still), the area around the eyes (crown area) would get very uncomfortable.

However, when I found the right balance of will/intention and relaxation, the eyes would naturally come to a point of stillness, along with a naturally occurring uplift of the eyes.

This is a very subtle point, because many meditation techniques suggest keeping the eyes focused at the point between the eyebrows, without explaining that when the attention is tuned with the subtle energies in the body/spine, the eyes will naturally and automatically rise by themselves.

Now, when tuning into the overall sensation of the deep breath and exhalation, the next “step” is to feel just slightly deeper into what I simply think of as the “feel good” sensations that percolate in and around the sensations of relaxation.

These “feel good” sensations can easily be tuned into, but also easily dismissed…because they are so very subtle. The mind seeks the big experience: Satori! Enlightenment!…or at least what it believe these experiences are and what they require for their attainment.

For want of feeling into what is so readily available to us in the moment (the subtle sensations of the body), we remain forever isolated from the vastness that lies just below what we are already feeling!

Approach the process in this way: take a deep breath and exhale…relax and feel. This is all familiar, but if you feel slightly deeper, you may feel a kind of gentle vibration or background “hum” of the body…also familiar.

Go slightly deeper in feeling, with intention to explore sensations that you may not have considered much at all before. At first, you may notice superficial physical sensations such as intestinal gurgling, heartbeat, itchiness, etc.

However, with your intention to go “slightly deeper,” you may discover a very different perspective on familiar sensations…which opens the “field” of your awareness to the vibrations/sensations just below the familiar.

Little by little you will experience and come to understand that sensations are not isolated…one sensation is connected to a “field” of other, more subtle ones. Each sensation, then, can be thought of and used as a connecting piece, a pathway to deeper and deeper levels of subtle awareness.

When you truly “get” and viscerally experience the dynamics of following sensations to subtlety, you will experience yourself as a “field” of infinitely nuanced vibrations, a resonance of Being!

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Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditation, Part IV

Feeling subtle sensations in the body is not difficult. The suggestion here, in order to go deeper in meditation, is to initially feel just slightly below the surface of what you normally feel in the moment. Just one layer at a time. No big leap required! No superhuman feat of discipline needed!

Whatever vibration/sensation that you feel in the moment is fine. It is helpful to have the intention to feel the overall sensation of the body…and to feel slightly deeper with calm “noticing.”

In just noticing the overall sensation of the body, the intention to feel slightly deeper will activate the awareness of the wider “field” of vibrations…sensations that you may not have apprehended previously.

Again, this is not a difficult process. it just requires a willingness to explore the inner landscape of vibrations and to continue just long enough to the point that you are able to apprehend the “slightly” wider field of sensations.

This seemingly “small” incremental step in noticing, is in reality a monumental moment…if you truly “get” the “doorway” that you’ve just created! In allowing yourself to go just below the surface of what you feel in the moment, you’ve created an entryway, a doorway to continue on to finer and finer realms of subtle vibrations!

The dance has begun! Little by little, in feeling subtle sensations/vibrations, you will begin to apprehend the very fine “currents” moving through the spine, body and “sacred space” of all that you feel/experience!

You will have then established a very different relationship and understanding of your “Life Force,” as well as with your sense of “Self.” Your connection with subtlety will become more and more like a dance, a push/pull/play of exquisite sensations moving through the spine and rest of the body!

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Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditations, Part III

Using will and intention to focus the attention to one-point may have less than satisfactory results, especially if using the mind to focus the mind. I have found that incorporating the feeling/sensation aspect of the body is crucial in “holding” the mind in place.

Oftentimes, our notions about the “focused mind” is very different from the actual visceral experience of the focused mind. There is a sensation/feeling involved…and the feeling is like an energetic “grid” that holds/focuses the mind.

In normal waking consciousness, we focus upon our day-to-day duties and responsibilities and more often than not “float” around with little awareness when not involved in work or duties. The mind defaults to habitual patterns, engaging in what we “like” and moving away from what we do not like.

Sometimes we get “pulled” towards all manner of distractions and desires, losing endless hours, days…lifetimes, unmindful of all the forces, subtle and not-so-subtle at play in our lives!

When mindfully feeling into subtlety, the direction of focus is inwards, to the overall resonance of all that we feel in the moment. Initially the mind will think/say, “So what! Big deal!”

Now, for want of allowing ourselves to go a little below the surface of habitual, familiar patterns of thinking and feeling, we remain disconnected from unexplored realms of breathtaking beauty…

Even when we have an intention to connect with subtlety, even when we have a meditation practice, the mind can remain a formidable gate keeper, preventing us from entering the depths of meditation.

In my experience, even with years and years of regular and long practice of meditation, I found the Divine Subtlety elusive. I had a particular meditation technique and routine that I did my best to follow…but found that I reached a plateau. I found that my mind would inevitably wander into subconscious memories, distractions, sleep, etc.

What happened? Well, in my “practice” of meditation technique, I would keep my body in meditation posture and then practice technique, which called for focusing on certain “currents” in the spine, while inwardly observing the incoming and outgoing breaths.

As mentioned, for the life of me, I could not seem to get beyond a certain depth in my meditations. It wasn’t until leaving the ashram and releasing the tight hold that I had on meditation practice that I came to feel the very fine currents in the spine.

In the ashram, I was practicing technique, but was not allowing myself to feel the very subtle push/pull/play of the “life force” moving delicately in the body and especially in the spine.

What I mean by this is that in holding my body in certain meditation posture, using will to keep it still, I was not tuning into, feeling the subtle play of energies (life force) at play in maintaining the erect posture.

I was also not feeling into the subtle sensations of the incoming and outgoing breaths. In my deep release of the ashram, along with my rigid attachments to meditation techniques, I found the life force automatically adjusting and moving the body in “micro-movements.”

Meditation then became a dance of exquisitely fine sensations, moving so very delicately in the spine, holding the body/mind/psyche as though electrified!

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Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditations, Part II

When feeling into subtle sensations of the body during periods of meditation, it requires doing so just long enough that you notice what happens to the mind that turns its attention inwards.

Something very interesting happens. When the attention is turned inwardly to subtle vibrations of the body, at first you will notice familiar sensations…the feelings of body weight, the beating of the heart, feelings of the incoming and outgoing breath, etc.

As you begin to feel just below the sensations of familiar vibrations, you will encounter sensations that are familiar, but from a perspective that you’ve not given much consideration of before. With the simple intention to follow subtle sensations, you will experience familiar sensations, but with a focus that you’ve not engaged with until that point.

Now, it is just a matter of going slightly deeper with the attention and you will be engaging with sensations that are not so familiar…only because you’ve never given yourself permission to do so…until that point!

As mentioned previously, it is important to go deep quickly, to not tarry on the surface of awareness…because it is too easy to get lost in subconscious realms of desires, memories, distractions, thinking, etc…and we forget to feel into subtlety of vibrations/sensations.

When we focus quickly on subtle sensations/vibrations of the body, it is easier to notice how the mind shifts to an inner focus…and it is important to notice the shift of mind, no matter how subtle.

The shift of mind might be slight at first, but all the same it is important to notice how the mind can “latch” onto, focus on subtle vibrations/sensations as it goes into inner focus. There is a visceral feeling involved in the inwardly focused mind.

This process is not difficult and does not require long periods of practice! It just requires feeling into the sensations of the moment, even the sensations of sadness, grief, joy, desires, etc. And then to feel slightly deeper into the subtleties of the vibrations/sensations.

Longer and deeper periods of meditation will then happen naturally. Here is what happens: In holding the intention/prayer to feel into subtlety, the mind/body connects with sensations that get finer and finer…that, like an energetic current, has a way of “holding” or “capturing” the mind. It is like the mind gets “swept up” in the powerful inward flowing current of the Life Force!

Embedded in this “current” of subtle sensations, there is an underlying vibration that imparts a “feel good” sensation, very subtle at first, but as the mind tunes deeper into subtlety, the body/mind/psyche gets “lifted up” in an overflow of what can be referred to as the “Bliss Resonance.”

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Focusing Mind for Deeper Meditations, Part I

Wherever you are, in whatever circumstance, let the mind focus quickly within, not waiting for the meditation environment to be perfect. It is helpful to keep the eyes relaxed, quiet, still, in soft focus (if you keep the eyes open or half-closed).

Notice that as you focus the mind inwardly and feel into the area of the eyes, there may be a natural uplift of the eyes in the eye sockets.

There is a subtle point being made here: with too much will/intention to keep the eyes focused at the point between the eyebrows (spiritual eye), as suggested in many meditation techniques, there can be a greater possibility of giving ourselves a headache…at least this was the case for me.

In trying to concentrate my attention at the spiritual eye area, I found myself unwittingly using too much energy and will, resulting in headaches.

I discovered that by by the simple intention to keep the eyes still, relaxed, with intention/prayer to focus upon the overall sensation of the body and spine, the eyes would naturally and automatically be drawn upwards, allowing deeper and deeper attunement with the subtleties of the Life Force, and ultimately with the Bliss Resonance.

The sensation of the uplifting/rising Life Force/Kundalini can be experienced initially by feeling into the meditation posture of the erect spine…but with a slightly exaggerated lifting up and straightening of the spine.

The “trick” is in feeling into the subtlety of the overall sensation. What happens is that as the mind focuses on the subtlety of vibration in the body, a feeling of giddiness may arise, as the energy in the spine builds up to a point of overflow.

The body will adjust to the giddiness naturally, in slight “micro-movements”…if we allow ourselves to relax and surrender to the process, which then becomes a beautiful dance of fine movements. The body will also take up certain postures naturally and automatically.

Outwardly, these fine movements and postures may outwardly appear as a kind of isotonic and isometric contraction/relaxation exercise.

However, what happens inwardly cannot be seen, as the movements are so very subtle…affected by the rise and fall of infinitely fine energetic currents as can be felt in the spine.

An important point to consider here is that the micro movements and postures are guided by how the Life Force/Kundalini wishes to move/dance in the body.

The process is not difficult and does not require strict mental/physical discipline…at least not in the way one might think. Connecting with the Bliss Resonance requires only an intention/prayer to feel where we are in the moment…and then feeling slightly deeper…and then deeper, etc.

Do you understand what is being offered here? The mind might resist the simplicity of this approach, unable to countenance how very close it is to what the soul longs for: the Bliss Resonance!

Alas, for want of feeling just beneath the surface of sensations, what is so very close and accessible (Bliss) remains interminably beyond reach!

Again, do not tarry on the surface of mind! Go deep quickly, relax and feel! The mind will continue to “bounce” around and that’s totally ok. What is important is noticing the fleeting moments, even if for a fraction of a second, when the mind is still, not entertaining memories, desires, distractions, etc.

In noticing those fleeting moments of “no-thought” you then have reference points, entryways into connecting ever-deeper with the subtleties of the Life Force.

Understand the enormity of what previously may have seemed like a “non-event.” Tuning into that “fraction of a second” of finer and finer vibrations/sensations means a vastly different relationship with Life Force…and with sense of Self!

No matter how fleeting the experience of connecting with subtlety is, a permanent entryway is created, to go deeper into subtlety…as well as for longer periods! This “permanent” entryway is simply the feeling experience, the overall sensation/resonance of the moment, as felt in the central core of the body.

When the focus is on subtle sensation, there can be a noticing of how the mind can be, in a sense, “captured” or “held” in place (one-pointed concentration), by the “current” of Life Force.

Here’s what happens: as the mind focuses on the subtle sensations and begins to go deeper, layer by layer, the visceral experience of subtle vibrations creates a kind of “giddiness” in the body (especially the spine). This giddiness can be felt as a “current” or “flow” of energy that is strong enough to “capture” the mind, to “hold” it in one place.

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Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part XI

In my healing journey with Lyme Disease, I cannot say that it was a step-by-step, linear progression of doing “this,” doing “that,” following this protocol, following that protocol, etc. In my estimation, the healing timeline went something like this: feeling bad, feeling really bad, feeling a little better, back to feeling bad, feeling really bad…healed!

From a purely objective point of view, it would appear that my Uchu Sanango Isolation Dieta in the Rainforest resulted in my physical healing. This would seem to be the case, but, as you may have surmised from what I’ve already written, there was/is a subtle aspect of my healing journey that confounded my logical mind. Some important inner shifts had to happen and, paradoxically, I now consider my physical healing from Lyme Disease as a secondary gift!

As much as I am grateful and feel that I “dodged a bullet,” I believe a deeper healing gift imparted was in experiencing my body, mind and sense of self as a very small “slice” of an infinite spectrum of vibratory dimensions, some of which I have no logical or verbal reference points to describe.

This “deeper healing gift” allowed me access to extremely subtle currents of vibrations and sensations in the body that I had previously not given much attention to. I think of these “subtle currents,” deliciously felt in the the spine, as “Grace.”

Different names and labels could be applied: Divine Spirit, Kundalini, Prana, Chi, etc…but to me, the word “Grace” has deepest meaning. It is a felt experience, like silken threads of finest, most subtle and yet delicious reverberations in the spine!

To me Grace is also an immense paradox, as the subtlety of its vibration belies its haunting Presence, an ethereal “lifeline” that guides us through the darkest of nights!

I don’t believe my healing from Lyme Disease could have been affected had I remained rigidly attached and isolated to the relatively narrow spectrum of the physics and logic of the world. For one thing, I believe that a dismissive, rigid and quick-to-judge attitude towards my “hallucinations” (as well as towards Lyme Disease in general) would have precluded explorations outside the standards and norms of medical science.

Lyme Disease was a wild and chaotic shaking and breaking down of my body, mind and psyche. Dealing with the Lyme Entity seemed to require an approach that included not only my logical mind, but also (and more importantly) an openness and ability to patiently and compassionately “hold space” for experiences outside the norm of the “normal” waking state.

Over the last few years I’ve been contacted by a number of chronic Lyme Disease sufferers. In sharing with them the different healing modalities that I explored, I have also endeavored to convey my belief in that aspect of Lyme Disease that seems to be way outside the familiar and normal, i.e., the “paranormal” (as manifested in my experience with the Lyme Entity).

Of course, this could easily be dismissed as hallucinations of a feverish mind…and this pronouncement/judgment would allow the mind to maintain order, structure and predominance in a world that has a strong disposition to ignore or invalidate out-of-the ordinary or paranormal phenomena.

However, I find it interesting that my story of the Lyme Entity has resonated with the majority of those with whom I’ve shared, in the sense that they have been in agreement with how tricky, bizarre and out-of-the-ordinary their own symptoms have been!

There is even a term that some medical doctors have used in regards to some of their Lyme Disease patients and their “off-the-charts” symptoms reported: Lyme Loonies!

My wild, crazy dance with Lyme Disease allowed me an insight into a subtle working of my mind/consciousness that I may not have been able to experience otherwise. I realized that the linear/logical mind, attached to the physics of the world, operates in a relatively narrow spectrum of consciousness. It works amazingly well in our structured, quantifiable world…but, in my opinion, it can get in the way when it runs up against a problem or disease that cannot be resolved or healed by “accepted” and standard approaches.

The mind can “get in the way” in its quick (and sometimes abrasive) dismissiveness of things that are outside the norms of “accepted” practice and science.

The thought of a Lyme Disease “entity” is far outside what is accepted by the standards of today’s medical “science.” However, in my experience of the Lyme Entity, hallucination or not, I saw how the mind, like a radio, could “tune” into dimensions very different from the physics of our “known” world. I also came to understand how the mind, when it it is quick to dismiss and rigidly judge what is outside the familiar, creates a kind of energetic “shutting down” effect of body and mind, something not conducive to healing.

For me, the experience of Lyme Disease was not only physically painful/weakening, but was also pulverizing to the ego in the sense that my best efforts and due diligence amounted to very little on the balance scales of healing.

Now, I do not wish to diminish or downplay the importance of doing our best, doing our “due diligence” —as it is of major importance—but the point I’m endeavoring to make is that, as human beings, the narrow and rigid focus we place on the linear, logical, waking state of consciousness deprives and blocks us from the potential help that is available from the realms that are outside the vibratory spectrum of what is physically measurable and quantifiable.

To me, Grace is that “potential help,” an infinitely subtle sensation that is sourced in the central core of the spine and that imparts the knowingness of how much support we receive and are surrounded with…especially when we are being pounded by life circumstances.

The experience of Grace is a subtle point that I have endeavored to convey in these posts on my healing journey and to me it will always remain the deeper healing gift received!

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Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part IX

In my experience with the Lyme Disease “entity,” even though it was far outside the “zone” of what was familiar, I did not question for a second whether it was “real” or not, because, although I was quite conscious and aware that I was having a “non-ordinary” experience, it seems that the need (or perhaps capacity) to ponder the validity or non-validity of the experience just did not come up. It appears that the linear/logical, questioning mind was rendered inactive.

There is an important point to consider here. In the “physics” (the accepted science) of the linear, logical world the above experience would most likely be dismissed as a hallucination of the feverish mind and, to me, a great opportunity would have been lost if I had concurred.

Let me explain: The mind will oftentimes resist, avoid or dismiss what it cannot make sense of, define, categorize or label…and this reactivity can unfortunately take an abrasive and dismissive approach when it comes to the wild “ramblings” and “hallucinations” of people deemed “unstable/ungrounded.” It appears that the linear/logical mind can be quite “territorial” (and even combative) in defending its predominance. In other words, the logical mind wants well established and agreed upon parameters of “acceptable reality.”

In quickly dismissing such experiences, the opportunity to see the world (and any potential value of the experience) through a very different lens of perspective would have been lost.

To me, the question regarding whether or not my experience was a hallucination or not is not so important. I’m ok with thinking that it was all imaginary…but that’s not to say that the objects of the “hallucination” were not “real” or without value. They’re just vibrating at different frequencies, perhaps not within the “bandwidth” that our bodies reside in nor within the range of our normal waking state.

In this way of thinking, all thoughts and objects of our imagination can be thought of as “real” from an energetic perspective. The important consideration is whether or not they have the power and consciousness to uplift and help us…I certainly know from my own experience that certain thoughts (imaginary or not) have the power to hurt/harm.

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