I spent many years practicing meditation techniques without going very deep. I chalked it up to the thought that I wasn’t trying hard enough. However, it seemed that “doubling down” on my efforts also did not help. I had some nice experiences, but it was quite evident that something was missing in my approach to meditation practice. I was not connecting with the subtle currents in the spine that now seems so overwhelmingly obvious.
In looking back at my years of meditation practice, there are some glaringly obvious points that I would like share. The intention that I held for meditating was to attain the ultimate freedom: oneness with the Divine, enlightenment, Satori, Samadhi, etc. and it seemed reasonable that dedicating my life to the spiritual path in an ashram was the quickest way to fulfill this intention.
However, I did not remain in the ashram. In the intervening years, my meditation practice of technique shifted to one that seemed to be more like a dance…a dance of micro movements, initiated by subtle sensations felt deep in the core of the spine.
These fine currents, which are so obvious now, were inaccessible so long as my meditative approach was centered in technique. Also (and paradoxically), once you are connected with the “micro” currents in the spine, then meditation technique can take you even deeper. It’s just that technique cannot seem to activate the initial connection.
For me, leaving the ashram and all that led up to that event, in a strange way provided a deep psychic “hit” that seemed to initiate my first glimpses of roiling and chaotic, primal energies previously hidden from me.
My life and spiritual world view came crashing down and in its place were wild and chaotic sensations intimating of infinitely deeper and subtler vibrations. In the years following, meditation “practice” became more and more like a spontaneous dance with subtlety…with Divine Subtlety and one in which the Divine takes the lead.
In the “crashing down” and ultimate release of my spiritual world view, spiritual philosophy, technique and structure were no longer of much importance. There was/is only the deepening of the sublime dance, a surrendering to the flow of how the Divine Subtlety wishes to express in the body/mind/psyche!