Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part VIII

As mentioned before, I don’t believe there is a “one-size-fits-all” approach to healing, especially with “tricky” and insidious illnesses such as Lyme Disease. For me, Lyme Disease forced me into a very different mindset and approach to healing, as it became very apparent early on that the “standard of care” that my doctors suggested and prescribed was not going to work for me.

I think it would have been good to work with a “Lyme-Literate” MD, but at the time I could not afford to do so…and so I searched out and explored many different modalities, with varying results. During that same time period, I spoke with a number of individuals who had come to a place of healing, which gave me tremendous hope that healing was possible.

One of the “shifts” in mindset that occurred for me with Lyme Disease has been in approaching and thinking of the disease as not just a bacterial infection, but also as an intelligent (and vampiric) entity that had taken up residence (uninvited) in my body.

Now this can understandably be a bit much to accept for many individuals and that is fine. The subtle point I wish to convey here is that I believe an important component of my healing required a “breaking down” of the “hard shell” of my mind and all the strong attachments, expectations and patterns of my world view: my sense of how the world worked…that this is real, that is not real, etc.

Lyme Disease seemed to blur the boundaries of my “reality.” It forced me into a very different mindset that “softened” my beliefs and strong attachments, allowing glimpses into fine nuances of visceral experiences. This is the “nice” way of putting it.

Perhaps a more realistic way of describing my Lyme experience is this: it kicked my as$ and f**d up my mind to such a degree, that I saw, felt and experienced an aspect of reality that I may not have experienced otherwise.

I came to an understanding that there are so many levels and layers to healing! On one level (perhaps the most superficial), my mind wanted to be able to just take a regimen of antibiotics and be rid of Lyme Disease…or to follow some healing modality/protocol that would prove to be the “magic bullet” of healing.

I suppose my previous “normal” experiences of going through illnesses such as the flu, colds, injuries, etc. colored my expectations of how I wanted Lyme Disease to proceed…that if I rested, followed certain protocols, etc., that I could expect healing to follow.

However, with Lyme Disease, nothing felt “normal.” All of the familiar aches and pains of the body seemed to involve a layer of “weirdness” that included the hearing of voices, demonic dreams, over-sensitivity to lights, etc.

My mind desperately wanted a return to “normalcy,” to not have to deal with all the “messiness” of what was outside the boundaries of its neat and tidy spiritual “world view.” Lyme Disease seemed to open a window into realms of darkness/sorcery, vastly different than what I could have ever imagined or expected.

While in those dark realms, it seems that the mind/consciousness cannot operate/function in the same way as it is capable of in normal “waking” body consciousness. The physics of that realm are just very different. For example, in my experience of the Darkness, there were some paradoxical aspects to it. It was a darkness that was so dark that it seemed to “shine” and that it was a darkness that was blacker than the “blackest black.”

Of course, it does not make sense to the mind that operates in the physics of the familiar world. It cannot accept or fathom the idea of a darkness that is blacker than the blackest black. In the realms of our Earthly physics, the description of this “darkness” can only be rendered in metaphors and philosophical abstractions.

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