Part I of “Kundalini Dance of Subtlety” can be accessed here
I think that it’s kind of ironic that, for me, Kundalini did not activate for me until having dropped my strong attachments to meditation techniques, as well as leaving an ashram that I lived as a monk for 19 years.
For me, releasing the strong “matrix” of spiritual community and “group think” created an inner feeling of “free-fall,” having nothing to stand on, or hold onto…which then offered me intimations of primal and chaotic sensations/energies moving through my body and psyche.
A few years after having left the ashram, I began singing, vocalizing in very unusual ways: throat singing (similar to Mongolian and Tibetan styles). Singing in this way came very quickly and easily for me. The subtleties of vocal overtones helped me to disconnect my thinking and any stories that would normally go round and round in my head (sadness, grief, etc.)
So many layers of density, of sadness and grief have had to be released/purged in the intervening years (since 2001). Kundalini, in the form of the Mother came to me in 2009. I felt/thought that she was extremely shy. She turned to me three times, without saying anything, beckoning me to follow her into my spine. I intuited immediately and felt her as Kundalini.
I’m glad that there is a mental concept/philosophy such as Kundalini. Otherwise, I might think that I was going a little (or maybe a lot) crazy. It gives my mind something to “chew” on in the sense that my mind seems to go ‘round and ‘round if it cannot make sense of something.
Kundalini, to me, is so far out there, wild, crazy, primal, maddening, blissful, that the mind seems to be right on the borderline of sanity and insanity! I now feel quite safe with Her in the sense of having learned to navigate very strange mental/physical/emotional/spiritual landscapes of Being. It still feels though like being in a world where veils are getting thinner and thinner.
With the onset of Kundalini there has also been times of simply ENDURING…during certain times when no amount of meditation, positive thinking, calling for help seems to ease physical/mental/spiritual suffering. Perhaps it does, but my meaning here is that there seems to be times when we get so “ground to dust” that we don’t have the wherewithal or even the memory to call for help, or shore ourselves up.
This is where Grace seems to come through. And this is my belief: that Kundalini comes with Grace. As blissful and ecstatic as Kundalini can be, it seems to also have a way of grounding us to dust, taking away all props, forcing us to our knees so-to-speak. At least that’s been my experience.
When it had been so, so dark, when I had forgotten myself and how to call for help, this is where Grace had stepped in, like the tiniest sliver of light (my lifeline) in a universe of darkness.
Kundalini, it all seems to be one large Cosmic Dance. Beautiful at times, grotesque at times…but a dance all the same, where we are being asked to let Her lead!
I seek to connect with those who, like me, feel they have been “charged” to hold and ground the Bliss Resonance for Mother Earth. Please contact me if you’d like to experience the ecstatic current in the spine. It is a free session that will be of great benefit for you whether we decide to work together or not. Contact me here if you’d like to: Connect With the Bliss Resonance
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